How do I help them practice humble speech when angry? 

Parenting Perspective 

Anger often pushes children to raise their tone or use sharp, dismissive words. Teaching them to speak with humility in these moments does not mean silencing them, but rather guiding them to express their strong feelings without crossing the line of respect. Humility in speech is a sign of true strength, as it shows an ability to choose calm words even when emotions are running high. 

Model Calm Responses Yourself 

Show your child how you keep your own tone measured and respectful during stressful moments. You can even narrate your process by saying, ‘I am feeling very upset right now, but I am going to speak calmly because respect is important in our family.’ Seeing you do this in action will help them to copy the same behaviour. 

Provide ‘Safe Phrases’ for Pausing 

Give your child a set of respectful alternative phrases they can use when they feel overwhelmed. Simple statements like, ‘I need a moment to calm down, please,’ or ‘Can we talk about this later?’ allow them to step back from a conflict without being rude, which gives them a sense of dignity and control. 

Practise During Calm Times 

It is helpful to role-play different scenarios when your child is not feeling upset, rehearsing how to speak respectfully even while expressing anger. This prepares them for real-life situations, helping to make humility in speech a habit, rather than a forced effort in the heat of the moment. 

Spiritual Insight 

Islam teaches that self-restraint and humility, especially in moments of anger, are profound acts of worship and signs of a strong character. A parent who guides their child towards this quality is nurturing a soul that is aligned with prophetic teachings. 

Humility as a Trait of the Believer 

The Quran describes the true servants of the Most Merciful as those who respond to provocation with humility and words of peace. 

Allah Almighty states in the noble Quran at Surah Al Furqaan (25), Verses 63: 

‘And the true servants of the One Who is Most Beneficent are those who wander around the Earth with humility; and when they are addressed by the ignorant people, they say: “Peace be unto you”.’ 

Restraining Anger as a Shield 

The prophetic tradition teaches that the act of holding back from harsh words and choosing humility when angry is a shield that protects a person from Allah’s displeasure. 

It is recorded in Musnad Ahmad, Hadith 1304, that the holy Prophet Muhammad ﷺ said: 

‘Whoever restrains his anger, Allah will protect him from His punishment.’ 

By encouraging humble speech during moments of anger, you are showing your child that self-control and humility are acts of faith. They learn that respect is not just for calm moments, but is essential during times of strong emotion, and that choosing gentle words when upset brings both dignity and divine reward.