How do I help them keep their voice in a loud, dominant group? 

Parenting Perspective 

When your child joins a loud, fast-talking group, where confident voices seem to fill every available gap, they may begin to shrink back, wondering, ‘Will anyone listen to me?’, or thinking to themselves, ‘I will just stay quiet.’ In these moments, the challenge is not just about the volume in the room; it is about their own self-belief. Teaching your child how to keep their own voice, in a calm, respectful, and confident way, can help them to grow their emotional strength and to develop the communication skills that they will use for the rest of their lives. 

Begin by Understanding the Group’s Dynamic 

You can explain to your child that some people may talk more simply because they are excited or have an expressive personality, not because their ideas are more important. You could say, ‘When people are talking in a loud way, it does not mean that they are always right. It just means that they are feeling confident or that they are used to being heard.’ This can help your child to separate a person’s presence from their own sense of worth. The goal is not for them to try to compete in the noise, but for them to remain steady in their own self-belief. 

Step One: Rehearse Speaking with a Calm Confidence 

At home, you can practise speaking in short, clear sentences. You can encourage them to make eye contact, to maintain an upright posture, and to use a calm tone of voice. You could also playfully role-play the situation: ‘Let us pretend that we are in a busy classroom right now. How will you share your idea?’ You can then praise their effort, not their volume: ‘That was great. You spoke so clearly and calmly, and that is what makes people want to listen.’ This can teach them that clarity will always beat loudness. 

Step Two: Help Them to Find the Right Moment to Speak 

You can explain to your child that in a group conversation, a sense of timing is everything. They do not have to shout to be heard; they just need to be able to notice the natural pauses in the conversation. You might say, ‘Try to watch for when people stop for a moment to breathe or to laugh. That is your window to be able to speak.’ If the group rarely seems to pause, you can teach them the art of assertive politeness with phrases such as, ‘Can I add something here?’, or ‘That is an interesting point. May I share my idea too?’ 

Step Three: Strengthen Their Own Inner Anchor 

A child who feels secure on the inside will not feel the need to out-shout other people in order to feel seen. You can nurture this inner security by reinforcing messages of self-worth: ‘Your ideas are always worth hearing, even if they are not the loudest ones in the room,’ or ‘A quiet sense of confidence can often change an entire room.’ This can remind them that being thoughtful can often mean speaking after other people, not before them, and that the act of listening first can give their own words a much greater impact. 

Spiritual Insight 

In Islam, every person’s voice holds its own unique value. Our faith honours the qualities of humility, clarity, and fairness in our speech, not those of dominance or of noise. Teaching your child to speak with a sense of calm truthfulness is a reflection of both their emotional maturity and their spiritual balance. It is a way of training them to use their voice as a tool for goodness, not as a tool for pride. 

The Quranic Guidance on Using a Balanced Tone in Speech 

Allah Almighty states in the noble Quran at Surah Luqman (31), Verse 19: 

‘And be modest in your attitude and lower your voice (in dealing with people); as indeed, the harshest of all sounds, is the noise of the donkeys’ 

This verse, which is taken from the wise counsel of Luqman to his son, reminds us that a sense of dignity lies in our calmness. A steady and respectful voice will always carry more weight than one that is shouting. When your child is able to learn to speak in a thoughtful way, even in a noisy space, they are embodying this Quranic sense of balance, of strength without arrogance. 

The Prophetic Teaching on the Power of a Gentle Voice 

It is recorded in Sahih Muslim, Hadith 2594, that the holy Prophet Muhammad ﷺ said: 

‘Gentleness is not found in anything except that it beautifies it, and it is not removed from anything except that it makes it defective.’ 

This hadith teaches us that the quality of gentleness, even in our speech, can bring with it a sense of beauty and of respect. When your child is able to speak with a sense of composure among other, louder voices, they are practising this prophetic form of gentleness, a calmness that can win the hearts of others without having to win in terms of volume. 

Helping your child to keep their voice in a dominant group is about guiding them towards a sense of inner steadiness, not of outer noise. They can learn from this that their influence is not measured by how loudly they are able to speak, but by how wisely and how kindly they are able to do so. 

Your own patient coaching, by practising calm speech, a sense of good timing, and a quiet confidence, can help them to find their own voice without having to lose their own sense of peace. They will be able to discover for themselves that a true sense of self-assurance is not about overpowering other people, but about trusting in the truth of their own words. 

Spiritually, this sense of balance is a mirror of a true Islamic character: firm, yet gentle; present, yet humble. In time, your child will come to understand that even in the loudest of rooms, the voice that speaks with sincerity, with fairness, and with grace is the one that truly lasts.