How do I help them build two or three circles so one group does not control their week? 

Parenting Perspective 

When a child becomes very attached to one particular friendship group, their life can begin to revolve around it, including every plan, every emotion, and every disappointment. If that group becomes tense or exclusive, your child may be left feeling trapped or anxious, believing that to lose that group would mean losing everything. Teaching them how to form two or three different circles of friends does not have to mean replacing anyone; it is about building a healthier and more sustainable sense of balance in their social lives. It is about showing them that their connections with others can be wide, not narrow, and that a sense of belonging does not have to come from just one single source. 

Teaching the Importance of Balance, Not Escape 

You can start by saying something that is both gentle and reassuring: ‘It is so lovely that you have such close friends. It shows that you are a person who cares very deeply. However, sometimes it can be a good thing to spend some time with other people too. It can help our friendships to stay fresh, and it can give us all a bit of space to breathe.’ This helps to frame the idea of widening their social circles as a strength, not as an act of rejection. 

Encouraging Variety Through Interests and Routine 

You can help your child to explore other friendships through their own shared interests, rather than through any forced introductions. 

• Clubs and activities: ‘You love art so much. Perhaps you could join the after-school art group? You might be able to meet some other people there who enjoy the same things that you do.’ 

• Neighbourhood or family connections: Cousins, neighbours, or the children of family friends can often offer a different rhythm of friendship, one that is less pressured and more grounded. 

• Faith and community spaces: Youth gatherings, activities at the local mosque, or volunteering events can introduce your child to other children who may share their values and their sense of empathy. 

You can remind your child that different friends can meet our different needs. One group may be the one that shares their sense of humour, while another may be the one that supports their goals. 

Building the Inherent Skill of Balance 

It can be helpful to guide your child to observe which of their friendships give them a sense of energy and which of them can leave them feeling drained. You can ask them gently, ‘Who is it that makes you feel calm after you have spent some time with them? Who can sometimes make you feel tired or anxious?’ These kinds of reflections can help them to choose their friendships with a greater sense of awareness, rather than from a place of dependence. They can learn from this that a sense of balance is not just a social matter, but is also a form of emotional self-care. 

Spiritual Insight 

Islam celebrates the quality of moderation, a sense of balance in our worship, in our work, and in our relationships. Being a part of more than one circle of friends is in beautiful alignment with this principle, as it can help to keep the heart grounded and the ego in check. When your child is able to build their friendships across a number of different groups, with a sense of fairness and of sincerity, they are living a value that is deeply rooted in our faith: the art of connecting our hearts with others, without falling into a state of dependence or of pride. 

The Quranic Teaching on Balance and Justice 

Allah Almighty states in the noble Quran at Surah Al Furqaan (25), Verse 67: 

‘And it is those people that do not spend extravagantly, nor miserly; and (act in such a way) that is a balanced format between these two (extreme characteristics).’ 

Although this verse is speaking about the act of spending our wealth, its wisdom can be extended to all of the other areas of our lives, including our relationships. It teaches us that both excess and deprivation are unhealthy for us. Just as we should not cling too tightly to our wealth, your child should not cling too tightly to just one group of friends. 

The Prophetic Guidance on Good Companionship 

It is recorded in Jami Tirmidhi, Hadith 2378, that the holy Prophet Muhammad ﷺ said: 

‘A person is upon the religion of his close friend, so let one of you look at whom he befriends.’ 

This hadith reminds us that the company we keep can have a profound effect on our own character. When your child is able to connect with friends who encourage a sense of kindness, of learning, and of fairness, across a number of different social circles, they are helping to nurture their own moral and spiritual well-being. A variety in their companionship can help to broaden their sense of empathy and can protect them from an unhealthy dependence on any single group of friends.