How do I help siblings understand each other’s different ways of feeling? 

Parenting Perspective 

Use Simple, Honest Explanations 

When you have one child with neurodiverse needs and another who does not share the same challenges, it is common for misunderstandings and hurt feelings to arise. One sibling might feel confused about why their brother or sister reacts strongly to noise or touch. The other might feel unheard if they see extra patience being given to their sibling. Helping siblings understand each other’s differences builds empathy and trust between them. Use simple words: ‘Everyone’s brain works a bit differently. That means we all feel things differently too.’ 

Encourage Openness and Empathy 

Explain gently how their sibling’s feelings might show up in ways that seem big or surprising. Use real-life examples: ‘When your brother covers his ears, it is because loud sounds can feel painful to him. He is not being rude.’ Encourage open questions and keep your tone calm. You can practise phrases they can say to each other, like, ‘Are you okay?’ or, ‘Do you want some quiet time?’ Remind your other child that they can always come to you with their own feelings too; they should not feel they have to be ‘the strong one’ all the time. Praise every small act of kindness and understanding between them. Over time, these gentle reminders will help both siblings feel seen and valued for who they are. 

Spiritual Insight 

Islam teaches us that every family bond is built on compassion and patience. Allah Almighty says in the noble Quran at Surah Al Hujuraat (49), Verse 10: 

‘Indeed, the believers are brothers (to each other); so, make peace with your brothers; and seek piety from Allah (Almighty) so that you may receive His Mercy.‘

Sharing this Ayah with your children helps them to see that caring for each other’s hearts is an act of faith. 

It is recorded in Sahih Muslim, Hadith 2594a, that the holy Prophet Muhammad ﷺ said: 

‘Gentleness is not in anything except that it beautifies it…‘

Teach your children that understanding each other’s different feelings is part of this gentleness. You can make a family Dua together: ‘Ya Allah, help us understand and care for each other’s hearts.’ This soft practice shows them that every act of patience and kindness, even when it feels hard, brings the family closer together and draws Allah Almighty’s mercy into your home.