Parenting Perspective 

Shift from Blame to Solutions 

Blaming is often a child’s response to feeling pressured or afraid of getting into trouble. To encourage a more supportive dynamic, parents should change the language they use around problems. Instead of asking, ‘Who is to blame for this?’ ask, ‘How can we solve this together?’ This simple shift moves the focus from assigning blame to finding solutions, and teaches children to view mistakes as learning opportunities. 

Reinforce a Team Identity 

Continually remind your children that as a family, they are on the same team. Using phrases like, ‘Brothers and sisters look out for each other,’ helps to build a strong team identity. You can reinforce this by creating small, cooperative tasks and praising supportive actions specifically: ‘It was so kind of you to help your sister when she was struggling with that.’ This teaches them that support brings appreciation, while blame creates distance. 

Foster a Culture of Support 

By replacing blame with teamwork, you create a home environment where siblings feel safer to admit mistakes and more motivated to help one another succeed. This strengthens both their skills and their bond as siblings. 

Spiritual Insight 

Believers are Commanded to Make Peace 

Islam emphasises the sacred bond between believers, describing it as a brotherhood. The Quran commands us to make peace and heal divisions, not to create them through blame and accusation. This principle is most important within the family unit. 

Allah Almighty states in the noble Quran at Surah Al Hujuraat (49), Verse 10: 

‘Indeed, the believers are brothers (to each other); so, make peace with your brothers; and seek piety from Allah (Almighty) so that you may receive His Mercy.‘ 

A Believer is a Source of Safety 

The prophetic tradition teaches that a true believer is someone who makes others feel safe and secure. For siblings, this means being a source of comfort and support for one another, rather than a source of blame or fear. 

It is recorded in Jami Tirmidhi, 2628, that the holy Prophet Muhammad ﷺ said: 

‘The believer is one who makes others feel safe, and the Muslim is one from whose tongue and hand others are safe.’ 

Family Unity as an Act of Faith 

When you connect the idea of family unity to core Islamic values, your children learn that supporting one another is an act of faith. This nurtures their compassion and respect, building a foundation of resilience that will serve them well both inside the home and in their future relationships.