How do I help my child talk about feelings when left out at school? 

Parenting Perspective 

Listen Without Dismissing 

Feeling left out can be deeply painful for a child, especially when they see other children laughing or playing together without them. Many children struggle to find the right words to explain this hurt, and some may hold it inside because they fear looking weak or worry that they will be told to ‘just ignore it’. Start by letting your child know that your home is always a safe place to share these feelings. When they tell you they were left out, listen fully without brushing it off or jumping straight to solutions. Simple, open questions can help them speak: ‘How did that make you feel inside?’ or, ‘What did you wish could have happened instead?’ 

Practise How to Respond 

You can also help them practise what they might say to their friends next time. For example, ‘I felt sad when I could not join your game. Can I play too next time?’ Practising these short phrases when they are calm makes them feel less awkward in a real situation. If they feel too shy to say it face-to-face, suggest they write a note or speak to one friend first instead of the whole group. Remind them that feeling left out sometimes does not mean they are not liked or that there is something wrong with them. If being left out keeps happening, gently guide them to look for kind friends who help them feel included, or to try a different group where they feel more welcome. 

Praise Their Honesty and Courage 

Praise your child any time they open up to you about these feelings. Remind them that saying ‘I feel sad’ is not complaining, but is instead being honest and brave. Over time, your steady listening helps your child to trust that they never have to carry these worries alone. 

Spiritual Insight 

Islam honours the hearts that feel hurt or left behind. Our faith reminds us that Allah Almighty sees every private sadness and that no tear is wasted. Allah Almighty states in the noble Quran at Surah Al Duha (93), Verse 5: 

‘And very soon, your Sustainer shall bestow so much upon you (everything that you desire) that you shall be pleased with Him. ‘

This gentle promise reassures us that today’s small heartbreaks will never be forgotten by the One who cares for every soul. 

It is recorded in Sahih Muslim, Hadith 2594a, that the holy Prophet Muhammad ﷺ stated: 

‘Gentleness is not in anything except that it beautifies it, and it is not removed from anything except that it makes it defective. ‘

When you respond to your child’s feelings with kindness, you help them to see that being honest about sadness is not weakness but a strength. Encourage your child to make a small Dua when they feel lonely, such as, ‘Ya Allah, help me find good friends and keep my heart strong.’ This teaches them that they are never truly alone, that Allah Almighty knows what they feel, and that better days and better friendships can always grow from today’s hurt when they stay patient and hopeful.