How do I help my child stop copying exaggerated reactions like stomping? 

Parenting Perspective 

When your child copies exaggerated reactions like stomping, sighing loudly, or flinging themselves around, it can be both frustrating and feel disrespectful. In reality, such behaviours are often a combination of imitation and a child’s attempt to express powerful feelings when they lack the words to do so. With a patient approach, you can guide them away from these dramatic displays towards calmer and healthier ways of expressing themselves. 

Understanding the Root of the Behaviour 

Exaggerated reactions in children often stem from a few common causes. Understanding the cause is the first step to responding effectively. 

• Imitation: Children naturally copy behaviours that seem powerful or get a reaction. 

• Attention-seeking: They quickly learn that a loud stomp or sigh makes adults look their way. 

• Lack of emotional vocabulary: They may not yet have the words to say, ‘I am upset’ or ‘I feel ignored.’ 

Responding Calmly and Neutrally 

If you laugh, shout, or give the behaviour excessive attention, it is likely to continue because it has achieved its goal. A more effective response is to remain calm and neutral. 

• Acknowledge their feelings without validating the action: ‘I can see that you are upset.’ 

• Clearly redirect them to a better way of communicating: ‘Instead of stomping, please use your words. Tell me what you need.’ 

Teaching Healthier Forms of Expression 

Equip your child with a toolkit of clear and safe ways to express their frustration. 

• Encourage them to use simple phrases like, ‘I feel cross’ or ‘I need some help.’ 

• Offer calming strategies, such as squeezing a cushion, clapping their hands three times, or taking deep breaths. 

• Consider creating a designated ‘calm-down corner’ in your home, equipped with a soft toy, a book, or another quiet activity. 

Using Role-Play to Practise Calmness 

Children absorb these lessons most effectively when they are practised during calm moments, not in the heat of frustration. 

• Act out a simple, frustrating scenario together. 

• Model two different responses: one involving stomping and another using calm words like, ‘I feel upset.’ 

• Offer plenty of praise when they choose and practise the calmer option with you. 

Praising Positive Choices 

Make sure to notice and celebrate any improvements, no matter how small they seem. 

• ‘I really liked how you used your words just now instead of stomping. Well done.’ 

• Offer a hug or another small gesture of affection to reinforce the new, positive behaviour. 

Your consistency will, over time, teach your child that calm communication is far more effective than a dramatic display of emotion. 

Spiritual Insight 

Islam guides us to carry ourselves with dignity and to master our emotions, rather than letting them master us. 

Guidance from the Quran 

Allah Almighty states in the noble Quran at Surah Luqman (31), Verses 18–19: 

‘And do not turn your cheek from people (in pride and contempt), and do not walk on the Earth in self-glory; indeed, Allah (Almighty) does not love those (people who believe in) self-aggrandizement and boasting. And be modest in your attitude and lower your voice (in dealing with people); as indeed, the harshest of all sounds, is the noise of the donkeys.’ 

These verses teach us the importance of humility, moderation, and self-control in our conduct. By discouraging dramatic reactions like stomping, you are nurturing in your child a sense of balance and dignity in their emotional expression. 

Guidance from the Hadith 

It is recorded in Riyadh Al Saliheen, Hadith 45, that the holy Prophet Muhammad ﷺ said: 

‘The strong is not the one who overcomes the people by his strength, but the strong is the one who controls himself while in anger.’ 

This hadith teaches that true strength is not found in loud or forceful displays, but in the quiet power of self-control. Guiding your child to replace stomping with patient words connects them directly to this profound prophetic wisdom. By patiently guiding your child towards calmer expressions, you are nurturing emotional stability, spiritual discipline, and a respectful character—qualities that will serve them throughout their lives and bring them closer to Allah Almighty.