How do I help my child resist copying classmates who break rules to look “cool”? 

Parenting Perspective 

It is worrying to see your child drawn to classmates who bend or break rules to gain attention. At school, such behaviour often seems “cool” because it elicits a reaction from peers. If left unaddressed, this attraction can lead your child to disrespect rules at home and school, affecting both their learning and their character. The key is to strengthen your child’s inner confidence so they can see this behaviour for what it is a bid for fleeting attention and stand firm in doing what is right. 

Why “Rule-Breakers” Seem Attractive 

Children are often drawn to this behaviour for social reasons. They may copy rule-breakers because: 

• The behaviour appears bold, funny, or entertaining. 

• They want to belong to a group that seems popular or powerful. 

• They fear being labelled as boring or weak if they do not join in. 

Recognising these motivations helps you address your child’s underlying feelings, not just their actions. 

Clarify the Real Meaning of “Cool” 

Sit with your child and discuss the difference between short-term attention and long-term respect. You might say: ‘Breaking rules might get a laugh for a moment, but true respect comes from courage, honesty, and kindness. That is the kind of cool that lasts.’ This conversation helps to reframe the concept of social status in your child’s mind. 

Role-Play Responses 

Practise simple, direct phrases your child can use when feeling pressured by peers. Rehearsing these lines builds the confidence needed to use them in a real situation. 

• ‘No, thanks. I do not want to get into trouble.’ 

• ‘You can do that if you want, but I am not going to.’ 

Praise Independent Choices 

Be quick to notice and affirm when your child makes a good decision without following the crowd. For example: ‘I saw that you ignored the others who were messing around in class today. That shows real strength of character.’ This praise builds their pride in resisting negative influence and reinforces their moral courage. 

Provide Positive Outlets for Confidence 

Give your child opportunities to develop genuine self-esteem. Encourage their participation in sports, assign them meaningful responsibilities at home, or let them lead a small family project. When children feel valued for their positive strengths and contributions, they are far less likely to seek status through negative, attention-seeking behaviour. 

Spiritual Insight 

Islam teaches that true honour and dignity come from obedience to Allah, not from disobeying rules or disrespecting authority. What may appear as strength or confidence in the moment is often a weakness of character. Children need to understand that the courage to resist wrongdoing is the real form of strength. 

True honour lies in cooperating for good, not in joining others in transgression. 

Allah Almighty states in the noble Quran at Surah Al Maaidah (5), Verse 2: 

‘…And participate with each other to promote righteousness and piety, and do not collaborate in the committal of any sin or moral transgression…’ 

This verse provides a clear and simple principle: we are forbidden from participating in wrongdoing, even if others are doing it. It teaches a child that their first loyalty is to what is right. 

Resisting evil, even if only in one’s heart, is a fundamental act of faith. 

It is recorded in Sahih Muslim, Hadith 49, that the holy Prophet Muhammad ﷺ said: 

‘Whoever among you sees an evil, let him change it with his hand; if he cannot, then with his tongue; if he cannot, then with his heart and that is the weakest of faith.’ 

This hadith teaches that standing against what is wrong is a measure of one’s faith. For a child, this means that even simply refusing to join in with rule-breakers is a brave and worthy act. When your child learns that resisting negative peer pressure is a sign of real strength, they will begin to value dignity over false popularity, rooting their confidence in faith and self-control.