Parenting Perspective 

When a child repeatedly makes the same mistake, whether it involves teasing a sibling or breaking a rule, it can damage the trust between them and others. They may say they are sorry each time, but if their behaviour does not change, people will begin to doubt their words. Teaching your child how to rebuild trust is about showing them that it grows through consistent action and sincere effort over time. 

Explain That Trust Is Earned Back Slowly 

You can tell your child, ‘When trust has been broken, simply saying you are sorry is not always enough. You need to show, again and again, that people can rely on you to be responsible.’ This helps them to understand that trust can take time to repair, and it requires patience. 

Encourage Small but Consistent Actions 

Guide your child to rebuild trust with small, steady steps. This could mean consistently keeping their promises, following a household rule they previously broke, or being gentle in situations where they used to struggle. Point out their progress by saying, ‘You played so kindly today. That is how you help to rebuild trust with your friend.’ 

Model Patience and Forgiveness 

Show your child that while people can forgive, they may still need time to fully trust again. For example: ‘I have forgiven you for what happened, but I will need to see you keep trying your best before I can trust you with that responsibility again.’ This approach models both mercy and accountability. 

Teach That Mistakes Do Not Define Them 

It is important to reassure your child that repeating a mistake does not make them a ‘bad person’. You can emphasise their potential for growth by saying, ‘What matters most is that you keep trying to do better.’ This helps to prevent feelings of shame while still encouraging them to take responsibility. 

Spiritual Insight 

Islam teaches that even when we repeat our mistakes, the door to Allah’s mercy is vast for those who sincerely repent and strive to change. This beautiful principle can comfort a child, while also teaching them that true repentance and the act of rebuilding trust require ongoing, sincere effort. 

Hope in the Face of Repeated Mistakes 

The Quran gives us an incredible message of hope, reminding us that no matter how many times we may transgress, we should never despair of Allah’s forgiveness if we keep returning to Him with sincerity. 

Allah Almighty states in the noble Quran at Surah Al Zumar (39), Verses 53: 

‘ Say (O Prophet Muhammad ﷺ): “O my servants, those of you who have transgressed against yourselves (by committing sin); do not lose hope in the mercy of Allah (Almighty); indeed, Allah (Almighty) shall forgive the entirety of your sins; indeed, He is the Most Forgiving and the Most Merciful”.‘ 

Repentance as an Ongoing Act 

The example of the Prophet Muhammad ﷺ teaches us that seeking forgiveness and striving to improve is a daily, ongoing practice for a believer, not a one-time act. 

It is recorded in Riyadh Al Saliheen, Hadith 13, that the holy Prophet Muhammad ﷺ said: 

‘By Allah, I seek forgiveness from Allah and repent to Him more than seventy times a day.’ 

By connecting the act of rebuilding trust to the Islamic values of repentance and reform, you are showing your child that they should never lose hope in themselves. You teach them that they must, however, put in the consistent effort required to regain the trust of others, which is a lesson that builds resilience, sincerity, and responsibility.