How do I help my child join a game that has already started without derailing it? 

Parenting Perspective 

It can be difficult for a parent to watch their child standing at the edge of a game, feeling unsure of how to join in without interrupting the other children. You may feel torn between wanting your child to feel included and not wanting to interfere. These are delicate moments that can help to shape both their confidence and their empathy. Learning how to join an ongoing activity requires a sense of awareness, good timing, and a degree of humility, all of which are qualities that can be gently cultivated through practice and emotional guidance. 

Prepare Through Gentle Practice at Home 

Social confidence is not an innate quality; it is a skill that can grow through rehearsal and encouragement. You can try some small role-playing scenarios at home so that your child can practise what to say and how to approach others in these situations. It is helpful to equip your child with a few respectful, non-disruptive phrases. 

• ‘Can I join in the next round?’ 

• ‘Would you like to have another helper?’ 

• ‘Can I just watch you until it is my turn?’ 

This kind of preparation teaches them not just the right words to use, but also a sense of emotional timing, of how to read a group and to wait for the right moment to speak. 

Validate Their Feelings Before Correcting Their Behaviour 

If your child is feeling excluded, it is important to resist the urge to fix the situation for them immediately. Instead, you can begin with empathy: ‘It can feel hard when everyone is already playing, can it not?’ By acknowledging their feelings, you are helping them to process their disappointment in a safe space. You can then guide them towards the understanding that the other children are not necessarily being unkind; they are just focused on their game. This perspective can help your child to build their emotional resilience. 

Encourage Observation Before Attempting to Join 

You can teach your child the skill of observing a situation before they try to enter it. Watching for a few moments can give them important clues about the rules, the rhythm, and the general tone of the game. You could say, ‘Let us just see what they are doing first. Then you will know the best time to join in.’ This teaches them patience and situational awareness, both of which are hallmarks of emotional intelligence. 

Spiritual Insight 

In Islam, the qualities of harmony, empathy, and respect for others are not just social virtues; they are reflections of a person’s faith. Teaching a child how to join in with others without causing any disruption is a part of cultivating adab (beautiful manners), which is a cornerstone of an Islamic upbringing. Through such lessons, parents can help to raise children who are able to bring a sense of calm, not of conflict, into their shared spaces. 

Building Brotherhood and Unity Through Play 

Allah Almighty states in the noble Quran at Surah Al Hujuraat (49), Verse 10: 

‘ Indeed, the believers are brothers (to each other); so, make peace with your brothers; and seek piety from Allah (Almighty) so that you may receive His Mercy.‘ 

This verse captures the very essence of togetherness. It reminds us that social harmony begins with mutual respect and a commitment to peaceful interaction. When a child learns to join in with a game without interrupting, they are living out this Quranic principle in their own small way. 

Fostering Safety and Kindness in Social Interactions 

It is recorded in Sunan Nisai, Hadith 4995, that the holy Prophet Muhammad ﷺ said: 

‘The believer is one with whom people feel safe, and the Muslim is the one from whose tongue and hand people are safe.’ 

This hadith beautifully connects the state of our faith with the feeling of emotional safety. A child who learns to be gentle, polite, and respectful when they are joining a game is helping others to feel secure in their presence. This is the true essence of being a believer: to bring a sense of ease, not of disturbance, to those around us. By guiding your child to approach others in a thoughtful way, you are helping to shape not only their manners, but also their spiritual character.