How do I help my child enjoy participation, not just the victory? 

Parenting Perspective 

Praise the Effort, Not Just the Result 

Children often focus on winning because it brings praise, but this can overshadow the simple joy of taking part. To shift this mindset, parents should make a conscious effort to praise the process, not just the result. Saying, ‘I loved how you kept trying, even when it was difficult,’ is more powerful than only saying, ‘Well done for winning.’ This teaches your child that their effort and attitude are what truly matter. 

Make the Experience Memorable 

Parents can help by emphasising the enjoyable elements of an activity, such as the laughter or the teamwork involved. After a game, asking reflective questions like, ‘What was the most fun part for you?’ helps a child to associate participation with positive memories, completely separate from the final score or outcome. 

Model a Balanced Attitude 

It is crucial to show by example that you enjoy participating in activities regardless of the outcome. You can share stories of times when you lost at something but still valued the experience. When children see their parents handling both wins and losses with grace, they learn to adopt the same balanced and healthy attitude. 

Spiritual Insight 

The Value is in the Striving 

Islam teaches that true value lies in the sincerity of our effort, not necessarily in the worldly outcome. The Quran reminds us that a person is ultimately rewarded for the good that they strive to achieve. 

Allah Almighty states in the noble Quran at Surah Al Najam (53), Verse 39: 

‘And they shall be nothing (to account) for mankind except what he has undertaken.’ 

Consistency Matters More Than Victory 

The prophetic tradition teaches that the deeds most beloved to Allah are those that are done consistently, even if they are small. This principle shows that sincere, regular effort is valued more highly than occasional, grand victories. 

It is recorded in Sahih Bukhari, 1970, that the holy Prophet Muhammad ﷺ said: 

‘The most beloved deeds to Allah are those done regularly, even if they are small.’ 

The Journey is the Success 

When your child learns that Allah values their sincere effort and patience far more than the final result, they will begin to see participation itself as an act of growth. This nurtures a beautiful mindset where the journey is celebrated as much as the destination, and every sincere step is a success.