Parenting Perspective 

Teach Respectful but Assertive Language 

Children can often swing between being too passive or reacting too harshly. To help them find a healthy middle ground, teach them that standing up for themselves does not require being rude. You can role-play situations at home where they can practise calm but firm responses, such as, ‘I do not like that, please stop.’ Rehearsing this kind of respectful but assertive language equips them to defend their rights while maintaining their dignity. 

Emphasise Tone and Self-Control 

Explain to your child that how they speak is just as important as what they say. Encourage them to use a steady voice and avoid insults. It is vital to praise their efforts to be respectful, even if it is difficult for them: ‘I was so impressed by how you explained your side of the story without shouting.’ This reinforces the idea that strength and kindness can, and should, coexist. 

Protecting Rights without Compromising Values 

By modelling respectful assertiveness yourself and reinforcing it in daily life, you help your child see that they can protect their rights without compromising their manners or values. This helps them grow into confident, principled individuals. 

Spiritual Insight 

Argue in a Way That is Best 

Islam encourages believers to stand for the truth, but to do so with wisdom and the best of manners. The Quran reminds us that even when we are arguing for what is right, our words should be beautiful and respectful. 

Allah Almighty states in the noble Quran at Surah Al Nahal (16), Verse 125: 

‘Invite (people) to (follow) the (prescribed) pathways of your Sustainer with wisdom, and polite enlightened direction, and only argue with them in the politest manner…’ 

The Best Believers Have the Best Character 

The prophetic tradition teaches that the perfection of one’s faith is directly linked to the excellence of one’s character. This shows that maintaining good manners, even during a disagreement, is an essential part of being a true believer. 

It is recorded in Jami Tirmidhi, 1162, that the holy Prophet Muhammad ﷺ said: 

‘The most complete of the believers in faith are those with the best character.’ 

Strength in Wisdom and Integrity 

When you guide your child to combine firmness with respect, they learn that true strength is not found in overpowering others, but in defending oneself with wisdom and integrity. This balance helps them to grow into confident and principled individuals, with a character that reflects both resilience and faith.