Parenting Perspective 

Listen and Validate Their Feelings 

Resentment can build when a child feels they are carrying an unfair share of household responsibilities. The first step is to listen without being dismissive: ‘I hear you feel that you are doing more than your fair share, and I can understand why that would be upsetting.’ This validation is crucial. Afterwards, you can explain the reasoning behind the distribution of tasks. For example, ‘Your younger sister has fewer chores because she is still learning, just as you have more privileges because you are older.’ 

Ensure Fairness and Rotate Duties 

Whenever possible, it is a good idea to rotate chores so that no one feels stuck with the most difficult jobs. You can also create shared tasks where siblings must work together. Praising their teamwork—’Look how quickly that got done because you both helped!’—reinforces the value of cooperation. Recognising their specific contributions makes them feel seen and appreciated, which helps to soften feelings of resentment. 

Responsibility as a Family Contribution 

By combining fairness, clear communication, and gratitude, you help your child see responsibility not as a punishment, but as a valued and important contribution to the life of the family. 

Spiritual Insight 

Judge Between People with Justice 

Islam commands believers to be just in all their affairs, and this includes how parents judge between their children and distribute responsibilities. Upholding fairness in the home is a sacred trust and a direct command from Allah. 

Allah Almighty states in the noble Quran at Surah Al Nisa (4), Verse 58: 

‘ Indeed, Allah (Almighty) commands you to execute all trusts to their rightful owners; and when you (are asked to) judge between people, that you should judge with justice…’ 

Serving Family is a Prophetic Virtue 

The example of the Prophet Muhammad ﷺ teaches us that serving one’s family is a noble act of worship. This beautiful example shows that contributing to the household is a sign of excellent character, not a burden to be resented. 

It is recorded in Sahih Bukhari, 676, that Aisha (may Allah be pleased with her) said: 

‘The Prophet Muhammad ﷺ used to keep himself busy serving his family, and when it was the time for prayer, he would go for it.’ 

Service as an Act of Faith 

When you connect the ideas of fairness and service to Islamic values, your child learns that contributing to the household is an act of justice and love. With reassurance and a balanced system, their resentment can transform into a sense of pride, knowing that Allah values their efforts even when others do not.