How do I handle resentment when one child cares more about the pet? 

Parenting Perspective 

Pets can bring a great deal of joy and bonding to a family, but they can also stir up sibling tension. When one child naturally shows more interest in feeding, grooming, or playing with the pet, the other may begin to feel left out, resentful, or even convinced that the pet ‘loves them less’. This can create conflict and spoil the experience of having a pet. Your role as a parent is to guide both children towards fairness, empathy, and shared responsibility, while protecting their emotional bond with the pet and with each other. 

Acknowledge Their Feelings Without Judgement 

If one child complains, ‘She always gets to feed the dog, so he loves her more!’, it is important to respond with empathy before you correct them. You could say: ‘I hear you. It sounds like you are feeling left out because your sister is spending more time with the pet.’ Acknowledging their feelings helps to calm their defensiveness and makes space for constructive guidance. 

Clarify That a Pet’s Love Is Not Limited 

Teach your children that pets, like people, are capable of loving more than one person at a time. You could say: ‘The dog does not have only one heart. He has love for everyone in the family who is kind to him.’ This helps to reframe pet care as an opportunity to give and receive love, not as a competition. 

Share Pet Responsibilities Fairly 

To reduce comparison and conflict, it can be helpful to divide the pet-related tasks so that each child has a sense of ownership and importance. 

• One child can be responsible for feeding in the morning, and the other in the evening. 

• One can be in charge of brushing the pet, while the other refills the water bowl. 

• You can create a rota for walks or dedicated playtime. 

Encourage Teamwork Instead of Competition 

You can also set joint responsibilities that require your children to work together. For example: ‘You can both take the dog for a walk together. One of you can hold the lead, while the other carries the treats.’ This helps to turn pet care into a partnership, not a rivalry. 

Value Each Child’s Unique Contribution 

Explain that different children will naturally connect with pets in different ways, and that all forms of kindness matter. You could say: ‘Some people love to play energetic games with pets, while others prefer quiet cuddles. What is important is that you are both being kind and responsible in your own way.’ 

Mini Dialogue Example 

Child 1: ‘The dog loves her more because she always feeds him!’ 

Parent: ‘I understand you are feeling left out. But the dog has plenty of love for both of you. Today it is your turn to refill his water bowl, and tomorrow you can help me with the brushing. He will know that you care for him too.’ 

Spiritual Insight 

Islam teaches the importance of fairness, kindness, and compassion in all our dealings, whether with other humans or with animals. While resentment can weaken our relationships, fairness strengthens both our family bonds and our faith. 

Fairness Is a Divine Value 

Allah Almighty states in the noble Quran at Surah Al Nahal (16), Verse 90: 

‘Indeed, Allah (Almighty) orders you to promote justice and benevolence; and to be generous towards (positively developing) those that are within your jurisdiction; and to prevent that which is immoral, acts of irrationality, and cruelty; and He (Allah Almighty) offers this enlightened direction so that you continue to realise (the true pathway of Islam).’ 

This verse reminds us that justice and fairness must guide our actions even in small, everyday matters like sharing the responsibility of caring for a pet. You can explain: ‘Allah loves it when we are fair, even with little jobs. Taking turns to look after our pet is a part of being just.’ 

Compassion for Animals Brings a Great Reward 

It is recorded in Sahih Bukhari, Hadith 6009, that the holy Prophet Muhammad ﷺ said: 

‘While a man was walking on a road, he became very thirsty. He found a well, went down into it, and drank. Then he saw a dog panting and eating mud because of thirst. The man said: “This dog has reached the same state of thirst I had reached.” So he went down the well again, filled his shoe with water, held it in his mouth, and gave the dog water to drink. Allah appreciated that deed, and He forgave the man.’ 

This beautiful hadith shows that even a small act of kindness towards an animal can be a source of immense reward from Allah. For children, you can simplify it by saying: ‘Allah forgave a man’s sins just because he gave water to a thirsty dog. This shows how precious every small act of kindness towards our pets is in the sight of Allah.’ 

By grounding the value of fairness in the Quran and the importance of mercy in the teachings of the Prophet ﷺ, children learn that caring for a pet is not about rivalry, but about sharing kindness. Over time, any feelings of resentment can be replaced by a sense of cooperation, fairness, and a shared joy in caring for one of Allah’s creatures.