How do I handle it when my child listens to the part they like and skips the rest? 

Parenting Perspective 

It is an exasperating experience when your child enthusiastically follows instructions they enjoy but conveniently ignores those that require effort. You may find yourself repeating reminders, feeling as though your words are only partially landing. This selective listening, however, is not simply rudeness; it is often a sign of developing independence, emotional preference, and an immature ability to balance self-interest with responsibility. The solution lies in guiding them towards complete listening, where they learn to honour all parts of communication. 

Understand the Root Cause 

Children naturally tune in to what benefits them or feels pleasant; it is part of how their brains prioritise information. When they ignore the ‘boring’ or ‘difficult’ parts of an instruction, it is not always an act of rebellion but a form of emotional avoidance. Understanding this allows you to respond with a calm strategy rather than with anger. They need to be taught how to listen completely, which comes through consistency and clear expectations. 

Link Privileges with Responsibilities 

Teach your child that listening means receiving the entire message. You can explain it simply: ‘Listening means hearing all the words, not just the ones you like.’ When you give instructions, try to structure them clearly by starting with the enjoyable part but immediately attaching the necessary follow-up. 

• ‘You can play outside after your homework is done.’ 

• ‘Yes, you may have a snack once you have tidied up your toys.’ 

Linking a privilege with a responsibility helps children to see the full picture instead of cherry-picking what suits them in the moment. 

Use Calm Follow-Through, Not Repetition 

When your child acts only on the part of the instruction they liked, avoid re-explaining endlessly. Quietly reinforce the idea that partial listening does not complete the task. 

• If they go outside to play without doing their homework, calmly bring them back and say, ‘I said after your homework is done, not before.’ 

• If they eat the snack without cleaning up, remove access to snacks next time until the tidying is completed first. 

There is no need for lectures or a raised voice, just consistent follow-through. Over time, they will learn that half-listening leads to unfinished outcomes. 

Encourage Reflection and Self-Awareness 

During a calm moment, invite your child to reflect on their listening habits rather than scolding them. 

• ‘What part of my instruction did you hear?’ 

• ‘What part did you miss?’ 

This helps them to build self-awareness about their own listening patterns. It turns a correction into a conversation, encouraging them to think instead of merely reacting. 

Model the Attentiveness You Expect 

Children mirror the behaviour they experience. When they speak, make sure you model full attention by pausing your tasks, looking at them, and responding thoughtfully. If you interrupt or only half-listen to them, they will learn that selective hearing is normal. Respectful communication flows both ways, and a parent’s attentiveness lays the foundation for their child’s. 

You are not just trying to get tasks done; you are shaping the way your child listens, processes, and respects communication. This takes patience, consistency, and a calm presence that speaks louder than any reminder ever can. 

Spiritual Insight 

Selective listening often reflects the human tendency to choose comfort over responsibility, which is something the Quran and Sunnah repeatedly guide us to overcome. True growth, both moral and spiritual, comes from listening to the whole truth, even when parts of it are challenging. 

Complete Obedience in the Noble Quran 

Allah Almighty states in the noble Quran at Surah Al Baqarah (2), Verse 85: 

‘…So do you believe in parts of the Scriptures and rejects some parts of it? What then can be the repayment for the one who undertakes such an action amongst you, except the embarrassment in this worldly life; and on the Day of Resurrection there will be returned to severe punishment…’ 

This verse reminds us that partial acceptance, taking what suits us while ignoring what does not, leads to imbalance and loss. Although this was revealed in the context of faith, the principle applies beautifully to parenting. We must nurture children who value truth and duty, not just what pleases them. 

The Prophet’s ﷺ Example of Fair Listening 

It is recorded in Musnad Ahmad, Hadith 690, that the holy Prophet Muhammad ﷺ said: 

‘Whoever is tested with being a judge between the Muslims, then let him be just between them in his glances, his sitting, and his gestures.’ 

This hadith teaches that fairness and wisdom require full attention. The holy Prophet Muhammad ﷺ exemplified comprehensive listening, never responding impulsively or partially. When we insist that our children listen to an entire instruction before acting, we are teaching them the etiquette of fair and complete listening, which builds justice and humility within them. 

When your child listens selectively, it is an opportunity to teach them depth, patience, and fairness, helping them move beyond emotional convenience towards a more balanced sense of responsibility. 

Keep your tone calm and your expectations steady. Do not let frustration undo your teaching; your composure will speak louder than any correction. Over time, your child will begin to associate your calm firmness with security and clarity, realising that true listening leads to peace, not restriction. 

As they grow, this skill will serve them in every area of life. By guiding them to listen completely, you are preparing them to respond to life, and to Allah Almighty’s guidance, with awareness, sincerity, and humility. That is the essence of Islamic parenting: nurturing hearts that hear fully, act truthfully, and live honourably.