How do I handle it when my child copies reckless play from siblings? 

Parenting Perspective 

It is natural to feel a surge of anxiety when you see your younger child imitating the reckless play of an older sibling. This is a common parenting challenge, as younger children often view their older siblings as heroes. To them, copying these risky actions feels like the quickest path to feeling grown-up and earning the older sibling’s approval. Your task is to balance their natural desire for exploration with the non-negotiable need for safety. 

Why Younger Children Copy Reckless Play 

Children learn far more through observation than instruction. When they see an older sibling climbing furniture or jumping from high places, they perceive the excitement and confidence, not the danger. The problem is that while the older child may have the physical development to manage the risk, the younger one often does not, making the imitation genuinely hazardous. 

Guiding Without Crushing Their Spirit 

The goal is not to extinguish a child’s instinct to explore, but to channel it towards safer outlets. A calm, proactive approach is key. 

• Redirect their energy: If the older sibling is climbing something unsafe, immediately provide the younger one with a safer but similar alternative, like a small indoor climbing frame or a pile of cushions to jump on. 

• Use positive language: Instead of scolding, frame your correction constructively. Try saying, ‘That looks like a lot of fun, but it is not safe for you yet. Let us try this instead.’ 

• Set clear family rules: Establish firm, universal rules for everyone, such as, ‘We do not stand on chairs. Climbing is only for the play area.’ When rules are simple and consistent, children learn to respect boundaries. 

• Involve the older sibling: Appeal to the older child’s sense of responsibility. Explain that their sibling is watching and learning from them. Invite them to become a role model for ‘safe fun’, which often inspires a sense of pride and encourages them to be more mindful. 

Building a Safe Learning Space 

Create an environment where physical exploration is encouraged but the risks are managed. This involves childproofing where necessary, providing age-appropriate opportunities for active play, and maintaining supervision without being overbearing. This balance allows the younger child to feel included in the fun and adventure of childhood while remaining protected from harm. Handled calmly, this challenge can strengthen both children: the older one grows in responsibility, and the younger one learns that excitement and safety can go hand in hand. 

Spiritual Insight 

Islam teaches that parents are shepherds, entrusted with the profound responsibility of guiding their children towards what is beneficial and protecting them from what is harmful. This duty involves steering them wisely through challenges so they may grow in strength and character without being exposed to unnecessary danger. 

Safeguarding our families from harm, both in this life and the next, is an active duty. 

Allah Almighty states in the noble Quran at Surah Al Tahreem (66), Verse 6: 

‘O you who are believers, protect yourselves and your families from a Fire (of Jahannam) whose fuel is people and stones…’ 

This verse reminds us that our role as protectors is a primary religious obligation. While the ultimate protection is spiritual, it begins with ensuring our children’s physical safety and well-being in this world. 

Our guardianship over our children is a trust for which we will be held accountable. 

It is recorded in Sahih Muslim, Hadith 1829, that the holy Prophet Muhammad ﷺ said: 

‘Every one of you is a shepherd, and every one of you will be asked about his flock.’ 

This foundational hadith underscores our accountability before Allah for the children in our care. Being mindful of the behaviours they imitate and guiding them towards safe and beneficial actions is a core part of this sacred trust. By balancing gentle redirection with firm safety rules, you teach your children that boundaries are an expression of love. Over time, they will learn not only how to play wisely but also how to live responsibly.