How do I handle ‘I forgot’ used daily to dodge accountability? 

Parenting Perspective 

When ‘I forgot’ becomes a daily excuse, it usually signals underdeveloped executive skills rather than deliberate disobedience. Your child may be trying to avoid the uncomfortable feeling of being responsible. It is best to approach this as a problem related to skills and systems that you can help them develop, not as a moral failure. These reframing lowers defensiveness and allows you to remain in a teaching role. 

Create Systems That Make Remembering Easy 

Build a simple and supportive structure so that the path of responsibility is clear and easy to follow. 

• A designated place for everything: Every daily item should have a fixed home. Using labels can be very helpful. 

• Use visual prompts: Place reminders where the action needs to happen, rather than on a distant notice board. 

• Link tasks to routines: Attach new tasks to established anchor events, for example, ‘After taking your shoes off, the water bottle goes to the sink.’ 

• Use a timer: Short countdowns can help convert procrastination into focused action. 

• Evening reset: A five-minute tidy and pack-up session ensures that mornings begin smoothly. 

Teach the Language of Ownership 

Provide your child with words that make honesty feel both safe and useful. Practise these phrases during calm moments: 

• ‘I forgot. I am doing it now.’ 

• ‘I missed it. Next time I will set a reminder for myself.’ 

• ‘Please could you help me set up a checklist, so I remember?’ 

You can also model this behaviour yourself: ‘I nearly forgot the forms. I am putting them in the bag right now.’ 

Implement External Memory Aids 

Children often rely on our systems until their own are fully developed. Create simple tools that help them remember their responsibilities. 

• Checklist cards: Place a small card on the back of the door with reminders: ‘Water Bottle. Book. Homework. PE kit.’ 

• Bag tags: Use tags for specific days, such as for sports kits. 

• Timers: A phone or kitchen timer can be effective for older children and teenagers. 

• A designated landing zone: Set up an area by the entrance where items like bags and shoes can be placed immediately upon arrival. 

Review these tools weekly to ensure they are still effective. The goal is to foster independence, not to create a system of endless prompts. 

Encourage Accountability with Gentle Consequences 

Allow natural and proportionate outcomes to teach responsibility without inducing shame. 

• Forgotten water bottle: The child is responsible for refilling it and carrying a spare for the next two days. 

• Missed homework: The child must speak to the teacher and complete the work before playtime. 

• Shoes not ready: The child needs to start putting them out the night before. 

Maintain a steady and consistent message: ‘In our home, when we forget something, we fix the problem and make a plan for next time.’ Always praise the repair effort: ‘You owned your mistake and solved it. That shows real maturity.’ 

Spiritual Insight 

Allah Almighty states in the noble Quran at Surah Al Mu’minoon (23), Verses 8-9: 

‘And those people who are responsible in the execution of all matters entrusted to them and promised by them. And those people that secure their prayers (from any frivolous thoughts).’ 

This verse links faithfulness to two daily disciplines: keeping one’s trusts and guarding the Salah (prayers). Both require showing up on time and completing what is due. Teaching a child to move from ‘I forgot’ to ‘I kept my trust’ transforms chores, homework, and packing into small acts of honouring a covenant. You can explain gently: ‘Allah Almighty loves when we honour our trusts. Every time you finish what you promised, you are living this verse.’ Salah itself provides a template for training memory: its times are fixed, its steps are ordered, and it is followed by a brief review. This structure can be applied at home with set times, clear sequences, and quick final checks. 

It is recorded in Sahih Muslim, Hadith 2664, that the holy Prophet Muhammad ﷺ said: 

‘The strong believer is better and more beloved to Allah than the weak believer, and in each there is good. Be keen on what benefits you, seek help from Allah, and do not be helpless.’ 

This Hadith encourages a shift from passive forgetfulness to active striving. To ‘be keen’ means to set the reminder, pack the bag, and place the shoes out in advance. To ‘seek help from Allah’ anchors this effort in dua. Teach your child a simple supplication: ‘O Allah, help me remember my duties today.’ The instruction ‘do not be helpless’ teaches us not to hide behind excuses like ‘I forgot’, but to build supportive systems and take action. When you celebrate this keenness more than you scold forgetfulness, you align your home with the Prophetic path from excuses to excellence. A family culture that treats memory as a trust and builds kind systems around it grows children who can be relied upon.