How do I handle coins taken from a jar because “no one will notice”? 

Parenting Perspective 

When a child quietly takes coins from a jar, the issue is not the amount of money, but the mindset behind the action—the belief that ‘small things do not count’. Your goal is to address this calmly but firmly, transforming the moment into a lesson on honesty, trust, and inner conscience. 

Stay Calm and Keep the Focus on Integrity 

Begin the conversation gently, not angrily. You could say, ‘I noticed some coins were missing from the jar. Let us talk about what happened.’ Avoid using harsh words like ‘stealing’ at first, as they can trigger a fear or shame that blocks reflection. Once they admit to taking the coins, validate the courage it took to be honest: ‘I appreciate you telling me the truth. Now, let us fix this together.’ 

Explain the Real Issue: Character, Not Coins 

Use this as a moment to talk about values: ‘The coins are a small thing, but every act of honesty is big in the eyes of Allah. Each time we take something that is not ours, even a single coin, we are shaping the kind of person we become.’ This shifts the conversation from punishment to personal integrity. 

You can use relatable comparisons to help them understand. 

• ‘If everyone in your class took one marker without asking, soon there would be none left for anyone.’ 

• ‘If everyone in our family took a few coins whenever they wanted, how could we trust each other with our savings?’ 

Guide a Meaningful Repair 

Have your child count and return the coins themselves. Encourage a simple, sincere apology: ‘I took some coins from the jar without asking. I have put them back, and I am sorry.’ If the jar is for family savings or charity, you could guide them to add a small extra coin from their own allowance. This symbolic act helps to rebuild their self-respect through restitution, not reprimand. 

Model Transparent Honesty 

Children learn from what they see. Let them witness you holding yourself to the same standard of accountability. For example, you could say, ‘I just realised I took your pen from the desk without asking. Here it is. I am sorry about that.’ When children see adults treating small lapses in integrity with seriousness, they learn that honesty is a way of life, not just a reaction to being caught. 

Spiritual Insight 

Taking even a small amount of money unjustly is a form of broken trust. Islam teaches that all possessions, whether big or small, are a part of our amanah, the trust given to us by Allah. Returning what is not ours is an act of both repentance and purification. 

Integrity in the Smallest of Things 

The Quran reminds us that no act is too small to be noticed by Allah.¹ 

Allah Almighty states in the noble Quran at Surah Al Zalzalah (99), Verses 7–8: 

‘Thus, everyone’s actions equivalent to the measurement of an atom that is good shall be observed by them (on the Day of Judgment). And everyone’s actions equivalent to the measurement of an atom that is wicked shall be observed by them (on the Day of Judgment).’ 

This powerful verse teaches that every choice we make matters. You can tell your child, ‘Even one coin that is returned honestly becomes a recorded good deed, and even one that is taken wrongly is noticed by Allah. Every choice counts, especially the quiet ones.’ 

Restoring Trust and Barakah 

The teachings of our Prophet ﷺ place great emphasis on trustworthiness, especially in financial dealings.² 

It is recorded in Jami Tirmidhi, Hadith 1209, that the holy Prophet Muhammad ﷺ said: 

‘The truthful and trustworthy merchant will be with the Prophets, the truthful, and the martyrs.’ 

You can explain that being trustworthy does not just apply to merchants, but to everyone who handles the property of others, even coins in a family jar. Say to them, ‘When you return what is not yours, you are joining the people whom Allah loves most: those who are truthful and trustworthy.’ 

By treating this moment as a sacred opportunity for growth, rather than just a small mistake, you teach your child that honesty is not measured by the amount, but by the intention.