Parenting Perspective 

Some children resist apologising because they equate it with humiliation and weakness. They may feel that admitting a mistake diminishes their worth or gives others power over them. The key is to help your child reframe their mindset, teaching them to see an apology as an act of strength, dignity, and care for relationships. 

Reframing Apology as an Act of Strength 

It is helpful to tell your child directly, ‘Saying sorry does not mean you are a lesser person; it means you are strong enough to fix your mistakes.’ This simple reframing helps them to associate apology with courage, not humiliation. 

Normalising Apologies Through Example 

Apologise openly and sincerely when you make your own mistakes. For instance, you could say, ‘I spoke too hastily, I am sorry. Let me try to explain that better.’ When children observe adults apologising without shame, they learn that it is a natural and respected part of life. 

Separating the Action from the Child 

You must make it clear that an apology is for a mistake they have made, not a reflection of who they are as a person. Use phrases such as, ‘You are a good child who made a poor choice. Saying sorry is how we fix that choice.’ This important distinction prevents an apology from feeling like an admission of personal failure. 

Praising the Courage to Apologise 

When your child does manage to apologise, highlight their bravery. You can say, ‘It takes a very big heart to say sorry, and I am proud of you for doing that.’ This reinforces the idea that an apology is an honourable act that earns respect, rather than losing it. 

By changing the narrative from one of humiliation to one of courage, you help your child to embrace apologising as a powerful tool for building respect, trust, and strong relationships. 

Spiritual Insight 

In Islam, humility is regarded as a noble trait, never as a source of humiliation. The acts of apologising and admitting fault are considered signs of inner strength and sincerity, not weakness. Indeed, Allah Almighty honours those who set aside their pride to seek forgiveness and restore peace. 

Quranic Guidance on True Honour 

Allah Almighty states in the noble Quran at Surah Al Furqaan (25), Verse 63: 

‘And the true servants of the One Who is Most Beneficent are those who wander around the Earth with humility; and when they are addressed by the ignorant people, they say: “Peace be unto you”.’ 

This verse reminds us that walking with humility brings dignity, not disgrace, and is a distinguishing characteristic of a true believer. 

Prophetic Wisdom on Humility’s Reward 

It is recorded in Sunan Ibn Majah, 4176, that the holy Prophet Muhammad ﷺ said: 

‘No one humbles himself for the sake of Allah except that Allah raises him in status.’ 

This powerful hadith teaches that the act of lowering one’s pride for the sake of Allah is a direct cause for an increase in honour and status, not a reason for shame. 

By connecting the act of apologising to the virtue of humility, which is beloved by Allah Almighty, you help your child understand that true respect is gained through sincerity, not pride. They learn that an apology is not a moment of humiliation, but a powerful sign of inner strength and noble character in their faith and their relationships.