How do I handle a child who mocks praise or calls it fake? 

Parenting Perspective 

Understanding Their Discomfort 

When a child dismisses or mocks praise, it often signals discomfort rather than defiance. Many children feel awkward receiving compliments, particularly if they doubt their own abilities, fear being compared to others, or assume praise is a form of manipulation. Instead of ceasing encouragement, it is helpful to explore the reasons behind their reaction. You can achieve this by casually asking how they feel when you praise them, or by observing whether certain types of praise trigger the response more than others. 

Adjusting Your Approach to Praise 

To make encouragement feel more authentic, shift from broad labels like ‘You are so smart’ to specific, genuine recognition of effort or choices. For example, saying, ‘I noticed you helped your sister without being asked’ is more impactful and believable than general flattery. Sometimes, children mock praise because they crave a deeper connection. It is important to balance words of encouragement with quality moments where you simply enjoy their company, reassuring them that your love is not conditional on their performance. 

Responding with Calm Validation 

If your child calls your praise fake, resist the urge to argue or withdraw all encouragement. A calm response, such as, ‘I meant what I said, but I understand that it feels different to you’, both validates their feelings and keeps the door open for trust to grow. Over time, consistency in authentic, low-pressure encouragement helps children learn to accept positive feedback without suspicion. 

Spiritual Insight 

Reflecting Divine Justice in Praise 

Islam teaches that encouraging good behaviour with sincerity builds a child’s confidence and sense of self-worth.¹ Praising a child is not about exaggeration but about truthfully recognising the good within them. This mirrors how Allah Almighty reminds us of our efforts and reassures us that no good deed goes unnoticed. 

Allah Almighty states in the noble Quran at Surah Al Zalzalah (99), Verses 7–8: 

‘Thus, everyone’s actions equivalent to the measurement of an atom that is good shall be observed by them (on the Day of Judgment). And everyone’s actions equivalent to the measurement of an atom that is wicked shall be observed by them (on the Day of Judgment).’ 

This verse highlights that every effort, however small, holds value in the sight of Allah.² When parents praise with honesty, they reflect this divine principle, teaching children that their small, positive actions truly matter. 

Gratitude as an Act of Faith 

Acknowledging the good in others is a fundamental part of faith and gratitude. 

It is recorded in Jami Tirmidhi, Hadith 5212, that the holy Prophet Muhammad ﷺ said: 

‘Whoever does not thank people has not thanked Allah.’ 

This Hadith demonstrates that showing appreciation is an extension of our gratitude to Allah. If a child reacts to praise with mockery, parents should remain patient and continue to acknowledge their child’s efforts. With time and consistency, this sincere approach will teach the child that recognition is not fake, but an expression of love and gratitude, which Islam elevates as an act of faith.