How do I guide them when they work slower than classmates? 

Parenting Perspective 

When a child realises they work at a slower pace than their classmates, they can begin to feel embarrassed, frustrated, or even start to believe that they are ‘less smart’. This can harm their confidence and make them dread schoolwork. The truth is that working at a slower pace is not necessarily a weakness; in fact, it often reflects positive qualities like carefulness, creativity, or a more deliberate pace of processing information. Your role as a parent is to help your child value their unique strengths while also building practical strategies to manage their pace where necessary. 

Acknowledge Their Feelings Calmly 

It is best to begin with empathy rather than jumping straight to a solution: 

• ‘I can understand that you feel upset when other children finish their work before you do.’ 

• ‘It can feel frustrating, but working more slowly does not mean you are not capable.’ 

This simple act of empathy helps them to feel understood rather than dismissed. 

Reframe “Slow” as “Careful and Thorough” 

Teach them that speed is not the only measure of a person’s ability or intelligence: 

• ‘Some children finish their work very quickly, while others like to take their time. Both ways are perfectly fine.’ 

• ‘Working carefully often helps you to avoid mistakes and shows a wonderful sense of thoroughness in what you do.’ 

By reframing the behaviour in a positive light, you help to protect their self-esteem. 

Focus on Their Unique Strengths 

Take the time to highlight the areas where their more measured pace is a benefit to them: 

• ‘You are someone who thinks very deeply, and that is why your answers are often so detailed and thoughtful.’ 

• ‘You tend to notice little things that other people miss because you take your time.’ 

When they begin to see the value in their own approach, they learn to stop equating ‘slow’ with ‘inferior’. 

Build Practical Strategies Together 

If their pace is genuinely affecting their school performance, you can guide them gently with practical steps: 

• Break tasks into smaller parts: Encourage them to focus on completing small sections of their work at a time. 

• Use time challenges at home: Make small, fun timed games to help them practise working a little more quickly in a low-pressure environment. 

• Prioritise accuracy first: Offer praise for their correct answers before mentioning speed, and then gradually encourage quicker attempts. 

• Talk to their teachers if needed: Sometimes, a little extra support or slightly adjusted expectations at school can make a big difference. 

Praise Progress, Not Just Results 

Make sure to notice and praise even their small improvements: 

• ‘You managed to finish this part of your homework a little quicker than last time. That shows real growth.’ 

• ‘I really like how you stayed calm and kept going without giving up.’ 

This builds their motivation and encourages them to keep trying. By teaching them that effort, growth, and thoroughness matter far more than speed alone, you help your child to face their schoolwork with renewed confidence and resilience. 

Spiritual Insight 

Islam teaches us that everyone has been created with different strengths and abilities, and that true success is not measured by speed but by sincerity and patience. Reminding children of this beautiful principle helps them to embrace their own unique pace without feeling a sense of shame. 

Allah Almighty states in the noble Quran at Surah Al Faatir (35), Verse 32: 

‘Then, We (Allah Almighty) selected some people from Our servants, to become the heirs (of propagating the wisdom contained) in the Book (the Quran); so from them (there are some) that shall transgress against themselves; and some who shall remain balanced (in their rational thinking); and some of them shall always want to expedite (all possible) acts of goodness, with the permission of Allah (Almighty); and that is for them the greatest benefaction.’ 

This verse shows that people naturally progress at different levels and speeds, but all are encompassed by the wisdom and bounty of Allah. For Allah, the sincerity of the journey matters far more than the pace at which it is travelled. 

It is recorded in Sahih Bukhari, Hadith 6462, that the holy Prophet Muhammad said: 

‘The deeds most beloved to Allah are those done regularly, even if they are small.’ 

This hadith reminds us that consistency and sincerity are more important than speed or volume. For a child, this means that working more slowly but with steadiness is a quality that is beloved to Allah Almighty, as long as it is done with sincere effort and honesty. 

By guiding your child with this perspective, you help them to see that their pace is not a flaw but simply a part of their unique path. With patience, practice, and faith, they can grow in confidence without comparing themselves harshly to their classmates. 

In time, they will come to learn that life is not a race against others. True success lies in sincerity, steady effort, and a deep trust in the wisdom of Allah Almighty. These are the values that will serve them well in school and in every step of their future.