How do I guide siblings to influence each other positively instead of repeating wrongs? 

Parenting Perspective 

It can be frustrating to notice that your children seem to copy each other’s negative behaviours instantly, while positive actions rarely seem to stick. In truth, children are natural imitators, and they are drawn to what generates the biggest reaction. The key is to create a home environment where kindness and cooperation are more noteworthy than conflict, thereby shifting their focus to what is truly valuable. 

Highlight the Power of Example 

Children often underestimate the profound effect they have on their siblings. Your role is to make them aware of this influence and frame it as a position of honour. 

Parent: ‘Your brother really looks up to you. When you shared your toys so nicely, he learned how to share too. You are his most important teacher.’ 

This approach transforms the burden of responsibility into a source of pride and encourages the older sibling to be more mindful of their actions. 

Reinforce Good Behaviour with Attention 

Whenever a child demonstrates kindness, respect, or patience, give it your immediate and focused attention. If one child helps another, pause what you are doing and praise the action. For instance: ‘That was so thoughtful of you to help your sister. Look how happy you have made her.’ This teaches children that positive actions are the most effective way to receive your attention and strengthen their relationships. 

Use Gentle Correction for Wrongs 

When a negative behaviour is copied, avoid overreacting, as this can inadvertently reward the action with attention. Instead, guide both children together with a calm and brief correction. 

Parent: ‘I see you are both shouting. That is not how we solve problems in our family. Let us try again with calm voices.’ 

This method corrects the behaviour without magnifying it, teaching children that mistakes are simply opportunities to learn a better way, not tools for seeking attention. 

Create Shared Goals 

Encourage your children to see themselves as a team rather than as rivals. Assigning small, cooperative tasks, like tidying a room or preparing a simple snack together, builds a sense of unity. When they succeed, praise their teamwork specifically: ‘I love how you two worked together. You make such a great team!’ Over time, this collaborative spirit will make copying negative behaviours far less appealing. 

By consistently reinforcing positive actions and gently steering them away from negative ones, you can help your children see that their influence over one another is a powerful tool for good. 

Spiritual Insight 

In Islam, the company we keep has a profound effect on our character. Siblings are a child’s first and most constant companions, and guiding them to uplift one another is a sacred trust. When children learn to be a source of good for each other, they lay the foundation for a lifetime of righteous and loving relationships. 

True success in this life and the next lies in encouraging one another towards truth and patience. 

Allah Almighty states in the noble Quran at Surah Al Asr (103), Verses 2–3: 

‘Indeed, mankind shall surely (remain in a state of) deprivation (moral deficit), except for those people who are believers and undertake virtuous acts; and encouraging (cultivating within themselves and with one another the realisation and dissemination of) the truth and encouraging (cultivating within themselves and with one another the realisation and accomplishment of) resilience.‘ 

This short but powerful chapter provides a divine formula for success. Teaching your children to advise and support each other in doing good is a direct application of this Quranic wisdom within your home. 

The people closest to us have the greatest impact on our values and faith. 

It is recorded in Jami Tirmidhi, Hadith 2378, that the holy Prophet Muhammad ﷺ said: 

‘A person is upon the religion of his close friend, so let one of you look at whom he befriends.’ 

For children, siblings are their first friends. By encouraging them to be a positive influence on each other, you are ensuring that their daily companionship strengthens both their character and their faith. When children learn to lift each other up, they develop the spiritual and emotional maturity to become compassionate believers who benefit their family and their community.