How do I guide “pause the game and check if they’re okay” after a collision? 

Parenting Perspective 

When children are caught up in a competitive game and someone falls, it is natural for their adrenaline to override their empathy. They might glance over, laugh, or simply continue playing. This is not usually a sign of cruelty, but a result of excitement momentarily silencing their compassion. Your task is to help awaken that moral reflex, so they learn that caring for someone in pain is always more important than finishing a game. The best way to do this is to discuss it outside of the moment, in a calm setting. You could say, ‘If someone falls or gets hurt while you are playing, the first rule is to pause the game and check if they are okay. Winning can wait, but kindness cannot.’ 

Teach the ‘Stop, See, Support’ Routine 

Give them a simple, three-step structure that can become second nature over time. 

• Stop: Immediately pause the game when someone collides or falls. 

• See: Look at the person. Are they holding their knee, crying, or silent? 

• Support: Offer a few simple words, like, ‘Are you okay?’ or ‘Let us wait a second before we start playing again.’ 

You can role-play small scenarios at home to help make empathy a physical habit, not just a theoretical one. 

Frame Care as a Form of Courage 

Many children avoid pausing a game because they fear being teased for showing that they care. You can gently counter this by saying, ‘Real leaders are the ones who notice when others are hurt. Anyone can keep running, but only a brave person stops to care.’ This helps to redefine kindness as a form of courage, not a weakness. Encourage them to see compassion as a part of teamwork. 

Shift the Focus from ‘Win First’ to ‘People First’ 

After a game, you can use reflective questions, such as, ‘What do you think matters more, finishing the game or helping someone who is hurt?’ and ‘How would you want others to act if it was you who had fallen?’ These reflections help the idea of empathy to sink in and become a value, not just a rule. Over time, your child will learn that being fair in their play is not just about the rules of the game, but about showing rahmah (mercy). 

Spiritual Insight 

In Islam, showing compassion in moments of intensity is a sign of a strong character. Whether it is during a game, a sport, or one of life’s rivalries, believers are taught to prioritise mercy over momentum. A child who learns to pause for another’s pain is walking in the footsteps of prophetic gentleness. 

Mercy in Action 

The Quran reminds us that gentleness is what strengthens our bonds with others. 

Allah Almighty states in the noble Quran at Surah Aalai Imran (3), Verse 159: 

‘So, it is by the mercy from Allah (Almighty) that you (O Prophet Muhammad ﷺ) are lenient with them; and if you had been harsh (in your speech) or restrained (in your heart), they would have dispersed from around you; so, then pardon them, and ask for their forgiveness (from Allah Almighty); and consult them in all matters (of public administration); then when you have decided (on any matter), then put your reliance upon Allah (Almighty); indeed, Allah (Almighty) loves those who are totally reliant on Him.’ 

You can tell your child, ‘When you stop the game to check if someone is okay, you are being gentle, and Allah loves that mercy in your heart.’ This teaches them that kindness is not a distraction from the game, but an act of devotion that keeps compassion alive. 

The Noble Character of Compassion 

The teachings of our Prophet ﷺ help us to understand that every small act of care invites the mercy of Allah. 

It is recorded in Sahih Bukhari, Hadith 6011, that the holy Prophet Muhammad ﷺ said: 

‘He who does not show mercy to the people, Allah will not show mercy to him.’ 

You can explain, ‘When you pause the game to help someone who has fallen, Allah sees that and blesses your heart for it.’ This connects their immediate empathy to an eternal reward, giving the act a spiritual weight. 

Encourage your child to whisper a quiet dua before they play: ‘O Allah, please make me kind and fair while I play.’ Over time, the ‘pause and check’ will become more than just a rule; it will become a reflex of their conscience and a small echo of the mercy that Islam holds so dear. When play and compassion coexist, children learn that winning is sweetest when no one is left hurt behind.