How Do I Guide My Child to Include Newcomers Kindly at Clubs? 

Parenting Perspective 

It is common for children to hesitate when it comes to including newcomers. This reluctance often stems from a mix of shyness, a fear of being rejected, or simply being comfortable with their existing group of friends. The first step in guiding them is to understand their hesitation without passing judgement. By acknowledging their feelings, you can help them recognise and manage their emotions, which reduces the internal pressure they might be feeling. 

Understand Their Hesitation Without Judgement 

Start with a gentle observation, such as, ‘I have noticed that it can sometimes feel a bit tricky to invite new people to join in.’ By naming the feeling, whether it is nervousness or uncertainty, you help your child identify it. This simple act of validation can make a huge difference, showing them that their feelings are normal and giving them the confidence to try something new. It shifts the focus from a perceived flaw to a manageable emotion. 

Practise and Role-Play Simple Scenarios 

Rehearsing simple, welcoming phrases at home can be incredibly effective. Practise saying something like, ‘Hi, would you like to join our game?’ This creates a type of muscle memory, making it easier for them to say the words in a real situation. You can also model inclusive behaviour in your daily life, such as inviting others to join conversations or ensuring everyone gets a turn in a family game. These small, consistent examples reinforce the habit of inclusion naturally. 

Encourage Small, Manageable Steps of Inclusion 

Instead of pushing for a grand gesture, encourage small and manageable actions. This could be as simple as sharing art supplies with a new child, greeting them at the door, or asking for their opinion on something. Praise each attempt with specific feedback, like, ‘It was very kind of you to ask the new boy to join your team. That helped everyone feel included.’ Over time, these consistent small actions build a genuine sense of empathy and social responsibility without feeling overwhelmed. 

Spiritual Insight 

Inclusion as an Act of Faith 

In Islam, inclusion is not just good manners — it is an expression of faith and a reflection of the believer’s heart. Teaching a child to welcome newcomers goes beyond social courtesy; it teaches them how to embody mercy, empathy, and unity, which are central to Islamic character. When a child opens their circle to others, they practise humility and compassion — qualities that mirror the Prophet’s ﷺ way of treating everyone with dignity. Parents who nurture this value help their children see inclusion as an act of worship, not just friendliness. 

The Quranic Vision of Diversity and Connection 

Allah Almighty states in the noble Quran at Surah Al Hujuraat (49), Verse 13: 
‘O mankind, indeed, We (Allah Almighty) have created you all from one man and one woman; and placed you amongst various nations and tribes for your introduction to each other…’ 

This verse beautifully reminds us that diversity is a sign of Allah Almighty’s wisdom, meant to foster understanding rather than division. Teaching children to reach out to newcomers is a living example of this teaching — it transforms difference into connection. When they invite a new child into a game or conversation, they are practising this divine instruction to “know one another.” It helps them see every person as part of Allah Almighty’s creation, equally deserving of kindness and belonging. 

Living the Prophetic Example of Empathy 

It is recorded in Sunan Ibn Majah, Hadith 66, that the holy Prophet Muhammad ﷺ said: 
‘None of you truly believes until he loves for his brother what he loves for himself.’ 

This hadith captures the essence of empathy and equality in Islam. Encouraging your child to include others nurtures that same principle — to wish for others the comfort, inclusion, and friendship they themselves enjoy. It transforms playtime and school interactions into opportunities for spiritual growth. When children make space for others, they are practising ihsan (excellence) by acting with selfless love and thoughtfulness, qualities that elevate their faith and character alike. 

Building Hearts That Welcome With Grace 

Inclusion becomes effortless when guided by sincerity. Parents can encourage children to silently intend their actions “for Allah’s sake” before reaching out to someone new. This small inward intention turns a simple greeting or invitation into a deed of worship. Over time, children learn that faith is lived through kindness — through the warmth in their tone, the openness of their circle, and the quiet courage to make others feel seen and valued. Such lessons not only build welcoming children but also nurture compassionate future adults who embody the mercy that defines the Ummah of the holy Prophet Muhammad ﷺ.