How do I guide my child to include newcomers kindly at clubs? 

Parenting Perspective 

Joining a new club, whether it is for football, Scouts, or an after-school activity, can be an intimidating experience for any child. Walking into a group where others already know each other often leaves a newcomer feeling anxious and left out. At the same time, the children who are already part of the club may not realise how difficult it is to be ‘the new one’. As a parent, you have a valuable role to play in teaching your child how to welcome others warmly, ensuring that kindness becomes a natural part of their character. 

It helps to explain to your child that being inclusive is not just about being polite; it is about empathy and a generosity of spirit. Children who learn to welcome others at a young age grow into adults who are open-hearted, compassionate, and better at teamwork. 

Start with Empathy 

You can begin by asking your child: ‘How would you feel if you were new to a group and did not know anyone?’ Encouraging them to put themselves in another person’s shoes helps them to understand why a small act of kindness is so important. Even young children can grasp that feeling left out is a painful experience. 

Teach a Simple Welcome Script 

You can equip your child with practical and simple words to use in these situations. 

• ‘Hi, my name is [name]. Would you like to join our game?’ 

• ‘We are just about to start; would you like to come with us?’ 

• ‘You can sit here next to me if you like.’ 

These short scripts can give your child the confidence they need and help to prevent any awkward silence. 

Use Role-Play to Practise at Home 

Role-playing is a safe and effective way to practise a new skill. You can pretend to be a newcomer walking into a room, and let your child practise using one of the welcome scripts. Then, you can switch roles so they can also experience what it feels like to be welcomed. 

Encourage Small Gestures of Inclusion 

Sometimes, a welcoming gesture is as simple as saving a space for someone, introducing them to other children, or offering to explain the rules of a game. Teach your child that these small actions can have a big impact by saying: ‘Even just a smile and a quiet, “Come and join us,” can completely change how someone feels.’ 

Address Their Own Resistance or Shyness 

If your child says, ‘But I do not want to!’, you can explain gently: ‘You do not have to become best friends straight away. Just showing a little kindness can make the other child feel safer and braver. You can still stay with your friends, but you can also make space for someone new.’ 

Praise Inclusive Moments 

When you hear that your child has welcomed someone, be sure to offer specific praise: ‘I loved hearing that you invited the new girl to sit with you today. That showed real courage and kindness.’ 

Mini Dialogue Example 

Child: ‘What if the new boy is shy and does not answer me?’ 

Parent: ‘That is okay. You can just smile and maybe try again later. Sometimes being new feels a little scary. Even your small effort to be friendly will have helped.’ 

Spiritual Insight 

Welcoming newcomers is a reflection of one of Islam’s most beautiful teachings: making other people feel safe, respected, and part of the community. The faith of a Muslim is not only measured by acts of worship, but also by how warmly and kindly they treat others. 

Spreading Salaam as a Sunnah 

Allah Almighty states in the noble Quran at Surah Al Nisa (4), Verse 86: 

‘And when you are greeted with a welcome, then greet them with (a welcome that is) even better than that, or (at least) return it (in the same manner); indeed, Allah (Almighty) is the Final Reckoner over everything.’ 

You can explain: ‘Allah teaches us to respond to a greeting with even more kindness. When you offer a greeting of salaam to a newcomer, you are following His beautiful command.’ 

Welcoming Others Is a Source of Love 

It is recorded in Sunan Ibn Majah, Hadith 3692, that the holy Prophet Muhammad ﷺ said: 

‘By Him in Whose hand my soul is, you will not enter Paradise until you believe, and you will not believe until you love one another. Shall I tell you about something which, if you do it, you will love one another? Spread salaam amongst yourselves.’ 

For a child, this can be simplified: ‘The Prophet ﷺ taught us that spreading peace and kindness makes love grow between people. When you welcome someone new, Allah helps to put love between your hearts.’ 

By connecting the act of inclusion to their faith, your child learns that kindness is not just social etiquette; it is an act of worship. Each time they welcome a newcomer, they are spreading peace, following the Sunnah of the Prophet ﷺ, and earning a reward from Allah.