How do I guide making amends when a toy or item was broken? 

Parenting Perspective 

When a child breaks something, whether it is a friend’s toy, a sibling’s craft project, or a shared item in the classroom, their first reaction is often one of panic. They might try to hide what has happened, to deny it, or to burst into tears. Behind that initial reaction is usually a sense of fear: a fear of another person’s anger, of embarrassment, or of being punished. Teaching your child how to make amends when something breaks is about turning a mistake into a moment of honesty, empathy, and repair. It can show them that taking responsibility for our actions can strengthen our relationships far more than hiding from them ever could. 

Begin with Calm Honesty, Not with Fear 

It is important to start by reassuring your child that mistakes can and do happen. You could say, ‘It is okay to make a mistake. What matters now is how we choose to fix it.’ This can help them to shift from a state of fear to one of ownership. You can explain to them that being honest about what has happened does not make them ‘the bad one’; it makes them trustworthy. If they are tempted to hide what has happened, you can guide them gently by saying, ‘It is a brave thing to tell the truth, even when it feels hard. The sooner you are able to tell them, the sooner we can begin to make it right.’ Creating a sense of emotional safety around the idea of honesty teaches them that a confession can be an act of courage, not of weakness. 

Step One: Admit the Mistake and Apologise Clearly 

You can coach your child to use simple and direct words, without making any excuses. 

• ‘I am really sorry, but I have broken your toy. It was an accident.’ 

• ‘I did not mean for it to happen, but I still feel bad that it did.’ 

You can explain to them that their tone of voice can matter more than a long explanation. It is a good idea to encourage a sense of calm sincerity in their apology, with no long stories and no blaming of others. 

Step Two: Offer to Repair or to Replace the Item 

You can guide your child to think about a practical next step. 

• ‘Can I help you to try to fix it?’ 

• ‘I can save up my money to help you to buy another one.’ 

• ‘Can we make something new together to replace it?’ 

Even small gestures, such as gluing something back together or helping to choose a new one, can help to rebuild a sense of trust. The goal is not perfection, but responsibility in action. 

Spiritual Insight 

In Islam, the acts of returning what we owe and of repairing any harm that we may have caused are seen as acts of justice (adl) and of sincerity (sidq). When something has been broken, even if it was by accident, taking responsibility for it is a part of fulfilling the sacred trust (amanah) that Allah Almighty has given to us. Teaching your child to make amends with a sense of honesty and of compassion is a reflection of the very heart of Islamic ethics: the truth, paired with a sense of mercy. 

The Command to Fulfil Our Trusts and to Do Justice 

Allah Almighty states in the noble Quran at Surah Al Nisa (4), Verse 58: 

‘Indeed, Allah (Almighty) commands you to execute all trusts to their rightful owners; and when you (are asked to) judge between people, that you should judge with justice…’ 

This verse reminds us that the act of returning or of compensating for what belongs to others is an act of faith, not just one of fairness. When your child is able to repair or to replace something that has been broken, they are practising this divine command, fulfilling the trust that was placed in them and doing justice in their own small world. 

The Prophetic Example of Repairing a Wrong 

It is recorded in Sunan Ibn Majah, Hadith 2423, that the holy Prophet Muhammad ﷺ said: 

‘The best among you are those who are best in paying back their trusts and debts.’ 

This hadith shows us that the act of fulfilling one’s responsibility, even after an accident, is a sign of a good character. When your child is able to admit to what has happened and then tries to make things right, they are following the prophetic example of honesty and of restitution. 

Helping your child to make amends after they have broken something can help to turn a small mistake into a powerful moral lesson. They can learn that courage is not about avoiding our mistakes, but about facing them with a sincere heart. 

Your own calm support in these moments can show them that people are often quick to forgive when an apology is offered with a sense of truth and of kindness. Each time they are able to say sorry, to fix what has been broken, and to comfort the person who has been hurt, they will discover for themselves that honesty is able to restore a sense of peace much faster than denial ever could. 

Spiritually, these small acts of repair are a reflection of the very essence of our faith: of returning what we owe, of making peace after we have caused some harm, and of choosing to tell the truth over giving in to our fear. When your child is able to learn to make amends with both their hands and their heart, they are not just fixing a broken toy; they are helping to build a character that is beloved by Allah Almighty.