How do I guide a child who lied to a friend to cover a mistake? 

Parenting Perspective 

When your child lies to a friend to cover up a mistake, it can feel disheartening. You may feel disappointed, or even worried that dishonesty could become a habit. However, this moment is a valuable opportunity to shape your child’s understanding of truth, trust, and courage. Children often lie out of a fear of embarrassment, of losing a friend, or of getting into trouble. Guiding them with compassion rather than with harshness helps them to learn that honesty is always the stronger choice. 

Understand Why the Lie Happened 

Start by exploring the reason behind the lie. You can ask gently: 

• ‘What made you feel like you had to hide the truth from your friend?’ 

• ‘Were you worried about what they might think of you?’ 

Understanding the root of the lie shows your child that you care about their feelings, not just about the mistake itself. 

Teach the Value of Truth in a Friendship 

Explain that trust is the foundation of every good friendship. You can use simple examples to illustrate this. 

• ‘Imagine if someone lied to you about breaking one of your favourite toys. How would that make you feel?’ 

• ‘When you tell the truth, even when it is hard, your friend learns that they can always trust you.’ 

Help Them to Make Amends 

If the lie has been discovered, or if your child is willing to come clean, you can guide them through the process of repairing the friendship. 

1. Admit the mistake honestly: ‘I need to tell you the truth. I made a mistake, and then I lied about it.’ 

2. Apologise sincerely: ‘I am so sorry that I lied. I should have just told you the truth from the start.’ 

3. Offer to make things right: ‘What can I do to help fix the mistake I made?’ 

This process demonstrates both humility and responsibility. 

Provide a Calm Script to Practise 

A child may feel anxious about facing their friend. You can practise the conversation with them at home. 

Parent (acting as the friend): ‘Why did you not just tell me the truth?’ 

Child: ‘I was scared that you would be upset with me, but I know that lying was not the right thing to do. I am really sorry.’ 

Parent: ‘Thank you for telling me now. That means a lot to me.’ 

Reflect on the Experience Afterwards 

When the situation has been resolved, you can help your child to process what has happened. 

• ‘What did you learn from telling the truth in the end?’ 

• ‘How did it feel to finally admit the lie?’ 

• ‘What will you do next time you feel scared about having made a mistake?’ 

Praise Their Effort, Not Perfection 

Even if the apology feels awkward or difficult, it is important to acknowledge your child’s courage: ‘I am so proud of you for choosing to tell the truth. That took real strength of character.’ 

Spiritual Insight 

Guiding your child through the process of apologising for a lie is about more than just correcting their behaviour. It is about teaching them that honesty builds trust with people and earns the love of Allah. By offering them practical scripts and showing them the beauty of truth through the Quran and the teachings of the Prophet Muhammad ﷺ, you can help to nurture a child who truly values integrity. 

The Command to Be with the Truthful 

Allah Almighty states in the noble Quran at Surah Al Tawbah (9), Verse 119: 

‘O you who are believers, seek piety from Allah (Almighty) and (always) be in the company of the truthful (people).’ 

This verse reminds us that truthfulness is not just a social virtue, but a spiritual command. Teaching your child to admit their mistakes honestly helps to align them with the kind of people that Allah loves: those who speak the truth, even when it is difficult. 

Honesty Is the Mark of Faith 

It is recorded in Sahih Bukhari, Hadith 6094, that the holy Prophet Muhammad ﷺ said: 

‘Truthfulness leads to righteousness, and righteousness leads to Paradise. A man keeps on telling the truth until he becomes a truthful person. Falsehood leads to wickedness, and wickedness leads to the Fire.’ 

This hadith teaches a child the long-term value of being honest. Even if telling the truth feels hard in the moment, it is a path that builds a righteous character and brings a person closer to Allah. Lying, on the other hand, may seem easier at first but only leads to harm. 

Over time, your child will learn that mistakes can be forgiven, but that dishonesty can damage a person’s heart. They will come to see that courage in the face of the truth is the real strength that is beloved by Allah.