How do I gently point out when copied words come across as hurtful? 

Parenting Perspective 

When children repeat words copied from friends or media, they often do not realise that what sounds clever to them can feel hurtful to others. Correcting them harshly can make them defensive. A gentle approach, however, can help them recognise the impact of their words without feeling shamed. Your goal is to raise their awareness of how words affect others and teach them to choose kindness. 

Why Children Copy Hurtful Words 

Understanding their motivation allows you to respond with patience and guidance. Children often use hurtful words because: 

• They hear them used casually in their environment and assume they are normal. 

• They enjoy the strong reaction positive or negative that these words provoke. 

• They lack the maturity to recognise the emotional weight that certain words carry. 

Point It Out Calmly 

When your child says something hurtful, pause the conversation and point it out with calm clarity. 

‘That word you just used might sound funny in a show, but in real life, it can hurt people’s feelings.’ 

This gently brings their attention to the effect of the word, turning the moment into one of instruction rather than punishment. 

Invite Reflection 

Encourage empathy by asking a simple, reflective question. 

‘How would you feel if someone said that word to you?’ 

This helps them to step into the other person’s shoes and understand the pain their words might cause. This practice of perspective-taking is a crucial life skill. 

Offer Better Alternatives 

Equip your child with replacement phrases that allow them to express themselves without being hurtful. For example, instead of allowing them to say, ‘You are dumb’, you can teach them to say, ‘That was a silly mistake. Let us try to fix it together.’ This provides them with a practical tool to use in real interactions. 

Reinforce Positive Speech 

When you notice your child using kind or thoughtful words, especially in a moment of frustration, praise them directly. 

‘I really liked how you encouraged your sister just now instead of criticising her. That made her smile.’ 

This shows them that respectful speech is what earns genuine connection and admiration. By using this gentle approach, you can help your child learn to value words as tools for kindness, not harm. 

Spiritual Insight 

Islam places a profound importance on the tongue, reminding believers that even our most casual words carry significant weight. Teaching children to guard their speech is not just about good manners; it is a fundamental part of nurturing their spiritual awareness. 

Every word we utter is recorded and will be accounted for. 

Allah Almighty states in the noble Quran at Surah Qaaf (50), Verse 18: 

‘ (Man) is unable to utter a single word, without him being closely observed (and all actions being recorded), who is always present.‘ 

This verse teaches a powerful lesson in mindfulness. When children understand that every word matters in the sight of Allah, even those said lightly, they begin to choose their words more carefully. 

A true believer is a source of safety for others, both in their actions and their words. 

It is recorded in Sahih Muslim, Hadith 41, that the holy Prophet Muhammad ﷺ said: 

‘A Muslim is the one from whose tongue and hand the Muslims are safe.’ 

This hadith defines a believer by the sense of security they provide to others. Guiding your child to notice when their copied words are hurtful is a way of teaching them this core principle of their faith. Over time, they will learn that dignity and kindness are shown not only through grand deeds but through every single word they choose to say.