How do I explain to others why I am not giving my child a device in public without sounding judgemental? 

Parenting Perspective 

Choosing to forgo a screen for your child in public can sometimes draw questions or even raised eyebrows from others, especially when devices are a common sight. The goal is to explain your choice with quiet confidence, sharing your perspective in a way that feels clear and authentic, without making other parents feel criticised for their own decisions. 

Keep Your Explanation Brief and Positive 

Rather than listing the negative reasons for avoiding screens, it is often more effective to share the positive alternative you are trying to cultivate. For example, you might smile and say, “We are just trying to use these moments to encourage a bit more conversation and observation.” This approach focuses on your family’s positive goals, not on what you think is wrong with what others are doing. 

Use ‘We’ and ‘Our’ Statements 

Frame your choice as a decision that is personal to your family’s needs and preferences. This avoids sounding as though you are making a blanket judgement on all screen use. Saying, “We have just noticed that our son does better when he has a break from screens before bed,” is much softer and less prescriptive than stating, “Screens are bad for children before bed.” It keeps the focus on your unique situation. 

Acknowledge That Every Family is Different 

If someone asks more directly or seems curious, you can validate their choices while holding firm to your own. A simple, warm phrase like, “It is so tricky, is it not? Every family has to find its own way. This is just what seems to be working for us right now,” creates a feeling of mutual respect and acknowledges that there is no single ‘correct’ way to parent. 

Let Your Calm Actions Speak for Themselves 

Often, you do not need to say much at all. When others see that your child is able to cope, stay engaged, or enjoy themselves without a device—perhaps because you are interacting with them or have offered them an alternative—your actions become a powerful and positive statement on their own. Your calm confidence is often the only explanation needed. 

By staying warm, brief, and non-defensive, you can model both confidence in your own parenting choices and a deep respect for the choices of others. 

Spiritual Insight 

In Islam, the etiquette (adab) of our speech is often as important as the content of what we say. When explaining a personal choice rooted in our values, using humility and good manners protects both our own intention and the dignity of the person we are speaking to. 

Allah Almighty states in the noble Quran at Surah Al Hujuraat (49), Verse 11: 

‘Those of you who are believers, do not let a nation ridicule another nation, as perhaps it may be that they are better than them…’ 

This powerful verse reminds us to avoid all forms of speech that belittle, mock, or pass judgement on the choices of others, for we can never know their full situation or standing with Allah. 

It is recorded in Sahih Muslim, Hadith 48, that the holy Prophet Muhammad ﷺ said: 

‘Whoever believes in Allah and the Last Day, let him speak good or else remain silent.’ 

This hadith provides a clear and simple filter for our words: if what we are about to say is not beneficial or kind, then silence is the better option. By explaining your parenting choices gently and respectfully, you not only uphold this beautiful Islamic etiquette but also show your child that living by one’s values never requires making others feel small.