Parenting Perspective 

Many adults view tantrums as intentional disobedience or a child trying to get attention. Tantrums can indicate that a child is experiencing emotional overload, struggling with self-control, or has needs that are not being met. Young children often struggle to communicate their feelings of frustration or tiredness in suitable manners. 

Distributing this information to family members may assist in changing their viewpoint from assigning blame to fostering understanding. It is important to understand that tantrums should be seen as a form of communication rather than just misbehaviour. We aim to comprehend the underlying reasons for the behaviour be it hunger, fatigue, or emotional distress and address that need rather than resorting to punishment. 

Reframing Family Conversations 

• Provide a resource not as a correction but for collaboration. 

• Emphasise guidance, not indulgence. 

• Present your approach as preventive, not permissive. 

Employing a tone of guidance instead of discipline can be beneficial in these discussions. 

Spiritual Insight 

Islam encourages wisdom and gentleness in all dealings, especially with those who are vulnerable. Children are naturally impulsive and emotionally unformed. 

Allah Almighty states in the noble Quran at Surah Al Furqaan (25), Verse 74: 

And those people that say: “O our Sustainer, Grant to us (those circumstances that) makes our spouses and our offspring, a comfort for our eyes…” 

This Dua indicates that children are to be seen as a source of joy and an opportunity for guidance, not frustration. 

It is recorded in Jami Tirmidhi, Hadith 1921, that holy Prophet Muhammad ﷺ stated: 

He is not one of us who does not have mercy upon our young, respect our elders, and command good and forbid evil. 

Recognising tantrums as part of development helps us react with compassion instead of frustration. By sharing this with others, you are embracing a wise approach that focusses on guiding children with patience and education instead of resorting to punishment. Invite family members to participate in nurturing children with love and understanding, rather than with fear.