How do I explain to my child why I am also trying to change my own tech behaviour? 

Parenting Perspective 

When children see you making an effort to improve your own technology habits, it sends a powerful message of honesty, humility, and shared growth. The key is to explain your decision in an age-appropriate and inspiring way, so it feels like a positive choice rather than a reaction to guilt. 

Be Honest but Positive 

Frame the change as a positive choice you are making for the family. You could say something like, ‘I have realised I have been on my phone more than I would like, and I want to change that so we can have more fun together. Our time is really important to me’. This shows it is something you want to do, not something you have to do. 

Share the Benefits You Hope to Gain 

Help them see the positive outcome you are aiming for. Explain that you are making this change so that you can all have more fun moments and better conversations. When they understand that your efforts are aimed at improving things for everyone, they are more likely to be supportive. 

Invite Them to Join You in the Journey 

Turn it into a team effort instead of a one-sided rule. You could suggest, ‘Why don’t we both try to have some device-free time every day and see what adventures we can come up with instead?’. This makes them feel like a partner in a positive new journey. 

By demonstrating that you are also on a path of self-improvement, you shift the message from one of control to one of mutual respect and shared growth. 

Spiritual Insight 

Islam values self-reflection and personal accountability, encouraging believers to address their own shortcomings with sincerity. This approach not only strengthens our credibility when guiding others but also models true humility. 

Allah Almighty states in the noble Quran at Surah Al Hashar (59), Verse 18: 

‘ All those of you who are believers, seek piety from Allah (Almighty); and let every person anticipate (the consequences of) what they have sent forth (in the Hereafter) for the next day; and seek piety from Allah (Almighty); as indeed, Allah (Almighty) is fully Cognisant with all your actions…‘ 

This powerful verse calls us to be mindful of our actions today, as they are what we send forth for our tomorrow. This encourages regular self-reflection, inspiring us to make conscious changes that align with our deepest values. 

It is recorded in Al Adab Al Mufrad, Hadith 239, that the holy Prophet Muhammad ﷺ said: 

‘The believer is the mirror of his brother.’ 

This beautiful metaphor teaches us that we reflect the character of those around us, and they reflect ours. By striving to be a clear mirror of good habits and character, we naturally encourage our children to reflect that goodness back. 

By openly sharing your own journey of change, you teach your child that growth is a lifelong process for everyone. You show them that the most powerful way to inspire others is not through words, but by living the change you wish to see in the world.