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- Should I comfort my child after a tantrum, or stick to enforcing consequences
- What should I avoid doing that might accidentally make tantrums worse?
- How do I stop tantrums becoming a habit whenever my child wants something?
- Should I use time-outs for tantrums or is there a better way?
- What kind of discipline strategies work for tantrums without shaming the child?
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- How can I help my child learn to manage their emotions before they explode?
- How can I teach calming techniques to a very young child?
- How can I teach my child to take deep breaths or count when upset?
- How do I calm my child down when they are having a full-blown meltdown?
- What are helpful things to say during a tantrum to make my child feel seen?
- How do I encourage my child to ask for help instead of melting down?
- How do I explain to my child that it is okay to feel upset, but not to act out?
- How do I explain to my child what is happening in their body when they get angry?
- What can I do when my child starts screaming or crying the moment I say ‘no’ to something they want?
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- Are rewards helpful in preventing tantrums, or do they just lead to children demanding each time?
- How do I handle tantrums first thing in the morning before school or nursery?
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- How do I deal with tantrums around bedtime or when it is time to stop screen time?
- How do I deal with tantrums in the car or when we are travelling?
- What can I do when my child starts screaming or crying the moment I say ‘no’ to something they want?
- What should I do if my child uses tantrums to delay things they do not want to do, like bedtime or clean-up?
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- Can daily affirmations or calm rituals help children feel more secure?
- How can I create a calm-down corner or space for my child?
- How do I set boundaries during a tantrum without escalating the situation?
- Is it better to hold or leave my child during a tantrum?
- How can I reset the mood after a difficult tantrum?
- How do I stop my child from hitting or kicking during a tantrum?
- Should I ignore my child during a tantrum or try to talk to them?
- What kind of tone and body language helps when I’m de-escalating a tantrum?
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How do I explain to my child what is happening in their body when they get angry?
Parenting Perspective
When a child gets angry, their body reacts in ways that can feel intense or scary to them. Clearly explaining these changes can help the child feel more in control. Anger can lead to a quicker heartbeat, tense muscles, and an increase in energy because of the release of stress hormones such as adrenaline. For a young child, these feelings can seem strong and new. Parents can kindly explain that this is how the body naturally reacts when it senses something is unfair, scary, or annoying. By assisting the child in identifying their emotions and understanding their physical responses, parents can aid them in developing emotional awareness. Statements like ‘When you feel hot and your fists get tight, that indicates your body is signalling for assistance to relax’ can support the child without causing embarrassment. Providing consistent support strategies, like deep breathing or counting slowly, can help the child practise calming responses when they recognise these physical signals. With time, this can lower the chances of sudden outbursts and promote a feeling of self-control.
Spiritual Insight
From an Islamic perspective, teaching children to understand and manage their emotions aligns with the principles of self-restraint, patience, and intentional action. Allah Almighty states in the noble Quran at Surah Aalai Imran (3), Verse 134: ‘Those (the believers are the ones) that spend (in the way of Allah Almighty) in times of abundance and hardship; they suppress their anger; and are forgiving to people; and Allah (Almighty) loves those who are benevolent.’ This verse recognises the existence of anger yet commends those who manage to restrain it and act with kindness instead. The lesson is that the feeling itself is not wrong; what is important is how one chooses to act on it. When parents tell children that strong feelings, such as anger, are a natural part of how Allah Almighty created them, it helps to validate their feelings while also establishing important moral guidelines.
It is recorded in Sunan Abu Dawood, Hadith 4784, that holy Prophet Muhammad ﷺ stated:
‘…Anger comes from the devil, the devil was created of fire, and fire is extinguished only with water; so, when one of you becomes angry, he should perform ablution.’ Parents can use this teaching to help their children realise that strength lies not in shouting or hitting, but in the ability to pause, reflect, and make better choices. Introducing short Duas such as ‘A’oodhu billahi min ash-shaytaan ir-rajeem’ (I seek refuge in Allah Almighty from the accursed Shaytaan) can offer children a tangible way to seek divine support in the moment. In this way, helping children understand what happens in their body when they are angry becomes a step towards nurturing emotional awareness rooted in Islamic character.