How do I explain to my child that not all screen use is the same, some of it is mindful and necessary? 

Parenting Perspective 

Children often see all screen use as equal because they focus on the most obvious thing: a device in someone’s hands. Helping them to understand the crucial difference between mindful, necessary use and aimless scrolling can reduce a great deal of misunderstanding and misplaced guilt. 

Distinguish ‘Tool’ vs. ‘Toy’ Use 

Help your child make a clear distinction between using a screen as a ‘tool’ and using it as a ‘toy’. You can explain that sometimes, a screen is used for necessary tasks like learning, working, or connecting with loved ones, while at other times, it is used simply for fun. For example, you could say, ‘When I am on my laptop answering work emails, that is ‘tool time’, which is different from when we watch a video together for ‘toy time”. This simple language creates clear categories in their mind. 

Use a Simple, Relatable Analogy 

A simple analogy can make the concept much easier for a child to grasp. You could compare a screen to a kitchen: sometimes we use the kitchen to prepare a healthy, nourishing meal, and other times we might use it to have a small, sweet treat. Both are okay, but they serve different purposes and we need to have a healthy balance of both. 

Narrate Your Purposeful Use 

Model mindful use in practice by occasionally narrating your actions. A simple statement like, ‘I am using my phone now to look up the prayer times for today,’ or, ‘I need to send a quick message to your grandmother to see how she is,’ shows the direct link between your device use and a positive, real-life outcome. 

When children can see the purpose behind certain types of screen use, they are more likely to accept it and, over time, learn to make these mindful and necessary distinctions for themselves. 

Spiritual Insight 

In Islam, the intention (niyyah) behind an action is what transforms it from a neutral deed into something that is either valuable and rewarding or wasteful and blameworthy. 

Allah Almighty states in the noble Quran at Surah Al Zumar (39), Verse 9: 

‘Say (O Prophet Muhammad ﷺ): “Can there ever be parity between those people that have knowledge and those people that do not have knowledge?”…’ 

This verse reminds us that using tools, including technology, for the purpose of gaining beneficial knowledge holds a much higher purpose and value than using them aimlessly. 

It is recorded in Sahih Bukhari, Hadith 1, that the holy Prophet Muhammad ﷺ said: 

‘Actions are judged by intentions, and every person will have what they intended.’ 

This foundational hadith teaches us that what matters most is not only what we do, but why we are doing it. By helping your child understand that mindful and necessary screen use can serve a good and beneficial purpose, you are guiding them to approach all of their actions with a greater sense of awareness and intention.