How do I explain that some feelings can feel bigger for some children? 

Parenting Perspective 

Use Gentle Analogies 

It can be confusing for children, and for parents, to see how one child’s feelings might explode quickly while another seems calm in the same situation. Neurodiverse children, or those with sensory sensitivities, often feel things much more strongly than others. This does not mean they are choosing to be ‘too much’; it means their heart and body experience the world differently. Helping your child and their siblings understand this builds patience and respect instead of blame. Use gentle words and simple analogies: ‘Every person’s heart feels things in its own way. For some people, feelings are like little waves, and for others, they are like a big storm. Both are okay.’ 

Use Real-Life Examples 

Use real-life examples that your child can understand. For instance: ‘When the room is noisy, your sister’s ears feel it like a loud drum. That is what makes her upset more quickly.’ Or, ‘You know how you feel itchy in that jumper? That is your body telling you something feels too much.’ Remind them that having big feelings does not mean they are ‘bad’ or ‘naughty’; it just means they may need more calm-down time or special ways to cope. You can practise phrases they can use, like, ‘It feels too big,’ or, ‘I need help to calm down.’ Praise your child for trying to notice and share how they feel, even if they do not always get it right. 

Spiritual Insight 

Islam reminds us that Allah Almighty created every heart and mind with perfect wisdom. Differences in how we feel, think, or react are not mistakes; they are signs of His mercy and creative variety. Allah Almighty states in the noble Quran at Surah Al Shuraa (42), Verse 11: 

‘..There is no one (person or thing) that can be compared to Him (Allah Almighty); and He is the All Hearing and the All Seeing. ‘

This Ayah teaches your child that Allah Almighty knows every hidden feeling, no matter how big it seems. 

It is recorded in Jami Tirmidhi, Hadith 3372, that the holy Prophet Muhammad ﷺ stated: 

‘Dua is worship.‘

You can teach your child a small Dua for when their feelings feel bigger than they can handle: ‘Ya Allah, help my heart feel calm and strong.’ This gentle habit reminds them that they are never alone; Allah Almighty holds every wave and storm inside them. By explaining that some people feel things more deeply, you help your child to grow in compassion for themselves and others, planting hope that their heart is always safe with the One who understands it completely.