How do I encourage them to enjoy the game even if they don’t win? 

Parenting Perspective 

For many children, the excitement of a game can disappear the moment they realise they are losing. Instead of enjoying the process, they measure the entire experience by the final outcome, which can make family games stressful rather than joyful. The goal, therefore, is to help your child shift their focus from a mindset centred on winning to a play-focused one. When they learn to value participation, teamwork, and effort, they can find genuine enjoyment in the game regardless of the result.

 

Redefine the Purpose of Games 

Gently explain to your child that games are about much more than just winning: 

• ‘Games are a special way for us to spend time together, not just a race to see who comes first.’ 

• ‘The real fun is in the playing, the laughing, and the trying. Winning is only a bonus.’ 

By regularly reinforcing this message, you help your child connect their feelings of joy with the experience of playing itself. 

Create Fun Within the Game 

You can add small, joyful elements to the game that are not tied to winning at all: 

• Celebrate particularly creative moves or laugh together at funny mistakes. 

• Make a point of clapping for good effort, not just for high scores. 

• Use humour to lighten tense moments: ‘That was the silliest roll of the dice I have ever seen!’ 

This helps to keep the atmosphere light and enjoyable for everyone, even when the score is not in their favour. 

Praise Behaviours That Show Enjoyment 

Notice and comment on the moments when they are smiling, trying hard, or showing good sportsmanship: 

• ‘I loved how you kept laughing even when your playing piece had to go back to the start.’ 

• ‘You stayed so kind to your sibling even though you were behind; that is what makes the game truly fun.’ 

This positive reinforcement teaches them that true joy is found in connection and good character, not just in victory. 

Model Enjoying the Game Yourself 

Children learn by copying what they see in their parents. Show them that you enjoy the game even when you do not win: 

• Smile when you lose and say something like, ‘That was so much fun to play with you all.’ 

• Cheer for the good moves made by other players, showing that happiness can be shared. 

Your behaviour is the most powerful lesson, teaching them that joy is found in the journey, not only the destination. 

Practical Strategies for Lasting Change 

• Introduce cooperative games: Play games where the family must work together toward a shared goal, winning or losing as a team. 

• Set playful challenges: Create silly mini-goals that are separate from winning, like, ‘Can I roll the same number twice in a row?’ 

• Shorten the game time: Choose games that end relatively quickly so that children do not get stuck in a state of frustration for too long. 

• Celebrate the end of every game: Regardless of who won, end with a family cheer or a collective high-five for having played together. 

Gradually, your child will begin to associate family games with fun, laughter, and togetherness, rather than with the pressure to win. 

Spiritual Insight 

In Islam, we are taught that life itself is not a constant competition for worldly victories. True success lies in the sincerity of our efforts, our patience in difficulty, and our gratitude for the experience, regardless of the outcome. Helping your child to enjoy the process rather than obsessing over the result aligns beautifully with these core Islamic values. 

Allah Almighty states in the noble Quran at Surah Al Jumu’ah (62), Verse 10: 

‘Then when the prayer has concluded, then dispersed on the Earth and seek the benefaction of Allah (Almighty); and remember Allah (Almighty) excessively so that you may be victorious.’ 

This verse reminds us that success is not just about a final outcome but about how we live, strive, and remember Allah Almighty in every action. For a child, this principle can be translated into seeing the very act of playing with good manners and a joyful heart as a form of success in itself. 

It is recorded in Sahih Bukhari, Hadith 6464, that the holy Prophet Muhammad said: 

‘The most beloved of deeds to Allah are those done consistently, even if they are small.’ 

This hadith teaches us that our consistency and intention often matter more than one grand result. In the same way, enjoying a game consistently with kindness and patience is far more valuable in the sight of Allah than winning once with a heart full of pride. 

When you encourage your child to enjoy the game itself, you are teaching them to find joy in the effort, laughter in their mistakes, and gratitude in participation. They begin to see that life is not about being first every time, but about how we walk the journey. 

In time, your child will grow to see games not as contests, but as special opportunities for family bonding, kindness, and patience. They will carry this mindset into life’s bigger challenges, learning to savour effort and growth as the true victories that shape their faith and character.