How do I encourage them to choose role models wisely? 

Parenting Perspective 

Children naturally look for figures to admire and emulate, whether it is siblings, friends, teachers, or even characters from books and television. They often copy what these figures say and do, for better or for worse. Teaching your child how to choose their role models wisely involves helping them to understand that not everyone they admire is necessarily worth copying, and that the best role models are those who inspire us towards kindness, honesty, and self-control. 

Starting Conversations About Influence 

Explain to your child that the people they look up to have a real impact on the person they are becoming. Using simple language helps them to grasp this profound and important idea. 

• ‘When we copy someone, we become a little bit more like them.’ 

• ‘That is why it is so important to choose people who help us to be better, not worse.’ 

Highlighting Positive Examples in Daily Life 

Actively point out positive role models in their everyday lives. This makes the concept of a good role model real and relatable. 

• A kind older sibling who helps without being asked. 

• A teacher who always speaks respectfully to their students. 

• A neighbour who is known for their generosity and good character. 

You can say things like, ‘Did you see how kind that person was? That is the sort of character that is truly worth copying.’ 

Comparing Good and Bad Influences 

Children often learn abstract concepts most effectively through clear contrasts. 

• When watching a show, you can discuss the characters: ‘This character is always shouting and being unkind. But this one is brave and helps others. Which one is a better person to copy?’ 

• Discuss the different outcomes that result from following good examples versus negative ones. 

Encouraging Self-Reflection 

Ask gentle questions that encourage your child to think more deeply about the people they admire. This practice helps them to develop an internal compass for judging who is worthy of being followed. 

• ‘How do you feel about yourself after you have been playing with that friend?’ 

• ‘Does this person you admire bring out your best side or your worst side?’ 

Being Their Primary Role Model 

Above all else, it is crucial to remember that you are their first and most powerful influence. If they consistently see you solving problems calmly, speaking with kindness, and acting with patience, they will naturally see you as the primary role model worth imitating. 

Spiritual Insight 

Islam provides a clear and perfect example of a role model and warns us to be conscious of the company we keep. 

Guidance from the Quran 

Allah Almighty states in the noble Quran at Surah Al Ahzaab (33), Verses 21: 

‘Indeed, there is for you (O mankind) in (the personality of) the Messenger of Allah (Almighty) (Prophet Muhammad ﷺ), an outstanding example of incredible benevolence; it is for those people that have hope in Allah (Almighty) and the Day of Judgement, and (desire) to remember Allah (Almighty) excessively.‘ 

This powerful verse establishes the ultimate standard for a role model: the Messenger of Allah, Muhammad ﷺ, himself. Teaching your child to measure the character of others against his perfect example is the most reliable way to help them choose their influences wisely. 

Guidance from the Hadith 

It is recorded in Jami Tirmidhi, Hadith 2378, that the holy Prophet Muhammad ﷺ said: 

‘A person is likely to follow the faith of his friend, so look at whom you befriend.’ 

This hadith makes it clear that the people we choose to befriend and admire will deeply shape our character and even our faith. Therefore, guiding your child to choose role models who will uplift and inspire them is a crucial part of protecting both their faith and their character. By encouraging your child to admire those who embody kindness, honesty, and patience, you are giving them a moral compass for life. In choosing good role models, they learn how to shape their own character in a way that is pleasing to Allah and beneficial to everyone around them.