How do I encourage my child to stand up for themselves? 

Parenting Perspective 

A Skill That Can Be Learned 

Standing up for themselves is a skill many children find challenging, especially those who are naturally quiet, anxious, or have special educational needs (SEN). They may worry about hurting others’ feelings, being rejected, or getting into trouble for speaking up. You can start by explaining that having a kind heart does not mean letting others take advantage of them.

 

Practising and Role-Playing 

Practise simple phrases they can use in tricky situations: ‘Please stop that, I do not like it,’ ‘That is not fair,’ or ‘I need a turn too.’ Role-play these scenarios at home, using different tones of voice and body language. When you praise them for using a strong but respectful voice, it helps them feel confident to do it again when it matters. 

Teaching Wise and Safe Responses 

Teach your child to stand tall, make eye contact if they can, and keep their words short and clear. Explain that they should walk away and tell a trusted adult if someone does not listen. Reassure them that asking for help is not ‘tattling’; it is a wise choice when they cannot handle something alone. Praise their courage when they handle teasing without being unkind in return. Talk about ways to stay kind without letting others hurt them: ‘We do not say mean words back, but we do stand up for ourselves.’ 

Building Confidence Through Everyday Practice 

If your child struggles, build their confidence step by step. Encourage them to speak up in small ways: ordering their own food, asking a shopkeeper for help, or expressing a preference at home. These everyday chances to practise will grow their sense of self-worth and courage over time. 

Spiritual Insight 

Islam honours courage and self-respect, balanced with kindness and justice. Allah Almighty states in the noble Quran at Surah Al Imran (3), Verse 159: 

‘…And consult them in the matter. And when you have decided, then rely upon Allah… ‘

This Ayah reminds us that confidence and trust in Allah Almighty go hand in hand; we make our stand, then rely on Him. 

The holy Prophet Muhammad ﷺ encouraged believers to stand up for truth, protect themselves from harm, and speak with wisdom. It is recorded in Sunan Ibn Majah, Hadith 4013, that the holy Prophet Muhammad ﷺ stated: 

‘Whoever among you sees an evil action, let him change it with his hand; if he cannot, then with his tongue; and if he cannot, then with his heart, and that is the weakest of faith. ‘

This Hadith Shareef shows that speaking up for what is right is part of our faith. 

Help your child make a simple Dua: ‘O Allah Almighty, help me be brave and kind when I speak up.’ Remind them that when they stand up for themselves with honesty and respect, they protect their dignity, and this pleases Allah Almighty. 

With your calm guidance, small practice steps, and spiritual reminders, your child can learn that their voice matters, and that standing up for themselves is not pride or anger but a beautiful act of self-respect, rooted in the balance that Islam loves.