How do I discipline a toddler (1–3) who throws food, hits, or says no to everything? 

Parenting Perspective 

Understanding Toddler Behaviour 

It is necessary to exercise patience when disciplining infants, rather than resorting to punishment. Children between the ages of one and three are not misbehaving maliciously; rather, they are experimenting, seeking control, or responding to strong emotions that they cannot yet express verbally. Throwing food, hitting, and shouting no! are all developmental milestones, but they still require gentle correction to influence behaviour over time. 

Gentle Correction Strategies 

First, set lower expectations for logic-based discipline at this age. A child does not respond to lengthy explanations or delayed punishments. Consistency, redirection, and calm authority are key components of discipline at this period. If your child throws food, answer promptly and simply: We do not throw food. If you throw again, we are done eating. Follow through quietly. Avoid yelling or scolding, as children are particularly sensitive to tone. Stop hitting physically but softly by holding their hands and saying firmly, No hitting. Hitting hurts. Use simple language, consistent responses, and a neutral expression. Remember that when they say no all the time, it is often a means for them to express their independence. To prevent power clashes, offer restricted choices: Do you want the red cup or the blue cup? or We are brushing our teeth right now. Do you prefer to walk or be carried? Giving children a sense of control decreases their need to reject everything. Avoid timeouts at this age unless they are brief and utilised as a relaxing area rather than punishment. Toddlers thrive on rhythm, repetition, and focus. Catch them behaving well and express your appreciation: You used gentle hands — that is kind. Above all, stay calm. Toddlers reflect adult energy. If you lose patience, they escalate; if you remain calm, they will eventually learn self-control from you. 

Spiritual Insight 

Parents are responsible for establishing character seeds in their children beginning at a young age. Islam recognises that learning is a lifetime process, but it starts with how we are nourished in our early years. Allah Almighty states in the noble Quran at Surah Al Tahrim (66), Verse 6: 

“O you who have believed, protect yourselves and your families from a Fire whose fuel is people and stones.” 

This verse entrusts parents with the obligation of guiding and protecting their children not only physically, but also morally and spiritually, from an early age. It is recorded in Sunan Abu Dawood, Hadith 495, he holy Prophet Muhammad ﷺ said, 

“Instruct your children to pray when they are seven years old.” 

While this Hadith refers to Salah, it symbolises a larger truth: spiritual and behavioural training begins at a young age, with consistent education rather than harsh punishment. By responding to toddler misbehaviour with clarity, firmness, and calm repetition, you teach self-control, respect, and discipline – not terror, but with a steady hand of kindness. These early years build the groundwork for your child’s relationship with rules and supervision in general.