How do I create an emotionally safe space where my child feels it is okay to cry? 

Parenting Perspective 

The first step in creating an emotionally safe environment is how you handle your child’s vulnerability. Avoid using comments like Stop crying, You are fine, or It is not that serious, to minimise, divert, or reject a child’s tears. Children may unconsciously learn from these reactions that their melancholy is undesirable or bothersome. Make room for the emotion instead. I can see you are really upset right now, or It is okay to cry, I am here with you, can be said calmly. Do not rush to mend things; just sit close by. Depending on what your child is receptive to, use a soothing touch, a kind tone, or soft eye contact. Your presence, breathing, and posture are all examples of nonverbal cues that add to the feeling of security. Children gradually start internalising the message, My feelings are not too much. I may have strong emotions and still feel appreciated. This lays the groundwork for resilience and emotional honesty throughout one’s life. 

Spiritual Insight 

Crying is not a weakness in Islam. Even the prophets wept in prayer and pain. Allah Almighty states in the noble Quran at Surah Maryam (19), Verse 58: 

‘…when the Signs of the One Who is Most Beneficent is narrated to them, they prostrate (before Him), bowing (in humility) and crying (with joy).‘

The holy Prophet Muhammad ﷺ himself cried at moments of loss and grief. It is recorded in Sahih Bukhari, Hadith 1303, that during the passing of his son Ibrahim, the eyes of the Prophet ﷺ started shedding tears. When Abdur Rahman bin Auf expressed surprise, asking, ‘O Allah’s Apostle, even you are weeping!’, the Prophet ﷺ replied: 

‘O Ibn Auf, this is mercy.‘

Children become more emotionally and spiritually resilient when we teach them that feelings are real and not bad or shameful.