How do I create a ‘talk time’ routine without making it feel like another chore? 

Parenting Perspective 

For a ‘talk time’ routine to be successful, it must feel natural, warm, and entirely free of pressure. Rather than scheduling it like a formal meeting, it is best to weave it into moments that are already part of your day, such as during meals, the journey home from school, or while winding down for bed. The key is to keep the atmosphere light and inviting. If your child senses that this time is mainly for correcting their behaviour, they will naturally begin to resist it. 

Let Your Child Lead 

It is important to let your child lead the conversation sometimes, even if the topic seems trivial to you, like a video game or a funny online video. These lighter chats are crucial for building trust, making it easier for them to approach you with more serious matters when the need arises. You can also introduce gentle rituals, such as sharing one ‘highlight of the day’, which can provide a soft structure without feeling forced. 

Focus on Quality, Not Quantity 

Remember to focus on the quality of the interaction, not the quantity of time. Five minutes of genuine, attentive conversation where you make eye contact can be far more powerful than thirty minutes of distracted, tense discussion. It is the consistency of these small, positive moments that will make ‘talk time’ something your child looks forward to rather than avoids. 

Spiritual Insight 

The prophetic way of interacting with others, especially children, was always marked by gentleness, a sincere interest in what they had to say, and a calm, reassuring presence. 

Allah Almighty states in the noble Quran at Surah Luqman (31), Verse 19: 

‘And be modest in your attitude and lower your voice (in dealing with people); as indeed, the harshest of all sounds, is the noise of the donkeys….’ 

This verse is a beautiful lesson in the etiquette of communication. It encourages a calm, moderate, and respectful tone, which is the perfect foundation for creating a peaceful ‘talk time’ at home. 

It is recorded in Sahih Muslim, Hadith 11, that the holy Prophet Muhammad ﷺ said: 

‘It is enough of a lie for a man to speak of everything that he hears.’ 

This powerful Hadith cautions against careless speech. It reminds us that true communication is mindful and deliberate, not rushed or unthinking. This thoughtful approach is what builds trust and depth in our conversations with our children. 

When your child comes to experience this daily time with you as relaxed, kind, and safe, it will cease to feel like a chore and transform into a cherished and essential point of connection.