How do I cope with unkind stares or comments? 

Parenting Perspective 

Their Ignorance is Not Your Reflection 

Few things feel as heavy as the unkind stares or careless words people direct at your child, or at you as their parent. Whether it is a stranger in a shop, a relative at a gathering, or another parent at the park, the emotional impact is real. First, remind yourself: their ignorance is not a reflection of your worth or your child’s. 

Focus on Your Child First 

When you sense the stares, focus on your child. Stay calm and gentle, as your child will take their cue from your reaction. If your child notices, reassure them: ‘Some people do not understand, but you are perfect just as you are.’ 

How to Respond 

You do not owe strangers explanations, but if it feels right, you can respond with a short, kind statement: ‘He is having a hard time right now, thank you for understanding.’ If someone says something truly rude, protect your child’s dignity first. A calm ‘That comment is not helpful, thank you,’ or simply walking away can be more powerful than arguing. 

Allow Yourself to Feel 

Afterwards, give yourself permission to feel what you feel. It is okay to feel anger, sadness, or exhaustion; you are doing something brave by showing up in public with your child when it would be easier to hide away. Talk it through with someone you trust and remind yourself you are not alone. 

Keep your child’s confidence strong by reminding them they are not defined by other people’s stares. Celebrate their small wins, their courage, and the joy they bring into your life, no matter what others think. 

Spiritual Insight 

Islam honours each believer’s dignity and protects us from mockery and shame. Allah Almighty states in the noble Quran at Surah Al Hujurat (49), Verse 11: 

‘O you who have believed, let not a people ridicule [another] people; perhaps they may be better than them… ‘

This Ayah is a powerful reminder that unkindness says more about the one who mocks than the one they target. 

The holy Prophet Muhammad ﷺ faced harsh words, mockery, and cruel comments, yet he ﷺ never let people’s ignorance shake his patience or mercy. It is recorded in Sahih Muslim, Hadith 1828, that the holy Prophet Muhammad ﷺ stated: 

‘Allah is not kind to him who is not kind to people.‘

Your calm response to harshness reflects prophetic character and is a means of earning reward. 

When stares or words hurt, make Dua: ‘O Allah Almighty, protect my heart and my child’s heart from people’s ignorance.’ Remind your child that their worth is defined by Allah Almighty alone, not by people’s opinions. 

With your quiet courage, warm reminders, and trust in Allah Almighty’s justice, you teach your child that kindness is stronger than cruelty, and that every moment of Sabr in the face of stares is seen, counted, and rewarded by the One who knows all.