Parenting Perspective 

Children can sometimes view the act of apologising as a form of ‘losing’ or lowering themselves in front of others. In reality, a sincere apology is an act of humility that demonstrates both courage and a deep respect for relationships. To guide your child, you can connect the apology to the Islamic virtue of humility, teaching them that lowering one’s ego for the right reasons makes a person stronger and more honourable, not weaker. 

Frame Apology as an Act of Strength 

Explain to your child, ‘Saying sorry does not make you a smaller person; it shows that your heart is big enough to want to fix what went wrong.’ This reframes the apology as a noble act rather than a defeat. 

Explain Humility as a Path to Honour 

Teach them that true humility means being willing to admit your mistakes, not pretending that you are perfect. You can share with them, ‘When you say you are sorry, you are showing that you care more about people than about being right.’ 

Use Small, Everyday Examples 

If your child accidentally spills a drink or hurts a sibling’s feelings, use it as a gentle teaching moment. You can guide them by saying, ‘When we apologise for our mistakes, we are practising humility. That is how we grow as people and earn the respect of others.’ These small, real-life examples help to build their understanding. 

Model Humility in Your Own Apologies 

When you have cause to apologise to your child, do so calmly and respectfully. For example, you might say, ‘I should not have raised my voice earlier, and I am sorry.’ This teaches them that apology and humility are normal and praiseworthy actions, even for adults. 

By linking the act of apology to the virtue of humility, you prepare your child to see the words ‘I am sorry’ not as a loss, but as a step towards strength, honour, and emotional growth. 

Spiritual Insight 

In Islam, humility is a virtue that is deeply beloved by Allah Almighty. A sincere apology is one of the primary ways in which we can humble ourselves, admit our shortcomings, and seek reconciliation. Far from lowering our status, this act of humility raises us in the sight of Allah Almighty. 

Quranic Guidance on the Honour of Humility 

Allah Almighty states in the noble Quran at Surah Al Furqaan (25), Verse 63: 

‘And the true servants of the One Who is Most Beneficent are those who wander around the Earth with humility; and when they are addressed by the ignorant people, they say: “Peace be unto you”.’ 

This verse reminds us that humility is a mark of true honour and is expressed in how we treat others with peace and respect, even when faced with harshness. 

Prophetic Wisdom on the Reward for Humility 

It is recorded in Mishkaat Al Masaabih, Hadith 1889, that the holy Prophet Muhammad ﷺ said: 

‘Allah does not increase a servant except in honour when he forgives, and no one humbles himself for the sake of Allah except that Allah raises him in status.’ 

This hadith teaches that humility, which includes apologising when one is in the wrong, does not diminish a person’s dignity but in fact raises a believer in rank before Allah Almighty. 

By showing your child that apologising is a form of humility that Allah Almighty loves, you help them to embrace it as an act of profound strength. They learn that humility in their relationships is what brings them peace, respect, and a divine reward.