How Do I Coach My Child to Reset Fairly After Dominating a Game? 

Parenting Perspective 

It is natural for a child to get carried away by the excitement of winning, especially if they have won a game repeatedly. While confidence is a healthy trait, this can sometimes tip over into gloating or a refusal to reset the game fairly, which can create resentment among friends and siblings and spoil the fun for everyone. Teaching your child how to reset a game with fairness and humility is a crucial lesson in empathy, good sportsmanship, and respect for the enjoyment of others. 

First, Acknowledge Their Joy in Winning 

Before you can guide them towards fairness, it is important to first validate their positive feelings. You can say, ‘I can see how proud and happy you are about winning. It feels wonderful to do well, does it not?’ This helps your child to feel seen and understood, making them much more receptive to your guidance on what to do next. It shows you are celebrating with them, not just correcting them. 

Explain the Importance of Shared Fun 

Help your child to understand the true purpose of playing games together. You can explain, ‘The reason we play games is so that everyone can have fun. If one person wins all the time and does not reset fairly, the other players can start to feel left out and stop enjoying themselves.’ This shifts their focus from an individual victory to the goal of a shared, positive experience. 

Introduce a Clear and Fair Reset Routine 

You can prevent many arguments by creating a clear and predictable process for starting a new round. A simple routine could be: 

• The winner of the last game gets the job of mixing or shuffling the pieces. 

• A different person gets to choose or play their piece first in the new round. 

• Everyone agrees to start the new game with a clean slate and equal opportunity. 

Having a set routine like this teaches procedural fairness and removes ambiguity. 

Lead by Your Own Humble Example 

Children learn a great deal from observing the adults around them. When you play with them, model humility in victory. You might say, ‘That was a lucky win for me! Now, let me reset everything so that you can have a fair chance to win this time.’ Your own gracious attitude in winning will be their most powerful teacher. 

Praise Good Sportsmanship, Not Just the Victory 

Make a point of highlighting acts of kindness and fairness, not just the final score. A warm comment like, ‘I was so impressed with how you shuffled the cards fairly and gave your sister the first turn. That showed real sportsmanship,’ makes the act of being fair feel as rewarding as winning itself. 

By consistently guiding them to reset a game with fairness, you help your child to learn the profound lesson that games are not about proving one’s superiority, but about building joy, connection, and mutual respect. 

Spiritual Insight 

Islam teaches the virtues of humility, fairness, and kindness in all our dealings, and this includes our moments of play. The act of resetting a game fairly after dominating it is a beautiful reflection of these values and helps to prevent the seed of arrogance from taking root in a child’s character. 

Allah Almighty states in the noble Quran at Surah Al Qasas (28), Verse 83: 

‘…And give your benevolent donations – ‘Zakah’;” then with the exception of a few, you reverted (from such actions), and you were stubborn (in your attitude).’ 

This verse is a powerful reminder that seeking to feel superior over others is not a praiseworthy quality in the sight of Allah. The virtues that truly matter are humility and righteousness, which can be practised even in the small act of resetting a game. 

It is recorded in Sahih Muslim, Hadith 2588, that the holy Prophet Muhammad ﷺ said: 

‘Charity does not decrease wealth, no one forgives another except that Allah increases him in honour, and no one humbles himself for the sake of Allah except that Allah raises him.’ 

This beautiful hadith teaches us that humility is a source of honour, not of loss. For a child, resetting a game fairly for others is a practical act of humbling oneself for the sake of kindness, which in turn brings them respect in the eyes of others and elevation from Allah. 

When your child learns to reset a game with fairness, they are practising the virtues of humility, justice, and care for the feelings of others. These lessons learned on the game board extend far beyond it, shaping them into people who value fairness and kindness in every aspect of their lives.