How do I close the day with connection even after conflicts? 

Parenting Perspective 

Some days inevitably end with arguments over homework, chores, or bedtime resistance. On such evenings, parents can be left with feelings of guilt, while children go to bed feeling unsettled. Making a conscious effort to close the day with a moment of connection, especially after a conflict, is a powerful way to reassure your child that your love is constant and that each new day offers a fresh start. 

Offer a Simple Gesture of Repair 

The gesture does not need to be long or involve a heavy discussion. A simple, kind word, a gentle touch on the shoulder, or a warm hug before sleep can be enough to reset the emotional tone and reaffirm your bond. 

• You could say, ‘Today was a tough day for us, but I love you always.’ 

• Or, ‘We had some disagreements, but that never changes how much I care about you.’ 

This teaches your child that relationships are stronger than arguments and models the importance of unconditional love. 

Keep Your Words Short and Sincere 

At the end of a long and difficult day, a child needs reassurance, not lectures. Use a few warm and genuine words rather than trying to re-explain the conflict or justify your position. A simple, forward-looking statement can bring immense comfort. 

• ‘Sleep well, inshaAllah. Tomorrow is a brand new day.’ 

Rely on a Consistent Closing Ritual 

Have a brief nightly practice that you do together, regardless of how the day went. This provides a stable and predictable moment of connection that is protected from the day’s conflicts. 

• This could be reciting a short dua together. 

• You could also share one thing you are grateful for in each other. 

This anchors the end of the day in consistent connection. 

Focus on One Positive from the Day 

Even on the most challenging days, try to find one positive thing to acknowledge. This reminds your child that you still see the good in them, even when you have disagreements. 

• ‘I really appreciated your help with clearing the table earlier.’ 

• ‘I liked how you calmed yourself down after you were feeling so upset.’ 

Spiritual Insight 

Islam places great emphasis on mercy and repair within the family, teaching us that these are acts beloved to Allah. Ending a difficult day with a gesture of forgiveness and kindness is an opportunity to strengthen both the hearts of our loved ones and our own faith. 

Forgiveness as an Act of Strength 

The Quran teaches that choosing to be patient and to forgive, especially when it is difficult, is not a sign of weakness but one of true strength and determination. 

Allah Almighty states in the noble Quran at Surah Al Shuraa (42), Verse 43: 

‘And for the person who is patient and forgiving, indeed, (these acts are derived from) higher moral determination.’ 

Offering a kind word after a conflict is a practical application of this verse, showing your child that true strength lies in mercy. 

The Prophetic Standard of Goodness at Home 

The Prophet Muhammad ﷺ taught that the highest measure of a person’s character is reflected in their treatment of their own family. 

It is recorded in Mishkaat Al Masaabih, Hadith 3253, that the holy Prophet Muhammad ﷺ said: 

‘The best of you are those who are best to their families, and I am the best of you to my family.’ 

This Hadith reminds us that showing mercy and reconnecting after a conflict is not just good parenting, but it is the very standard of excellence in faith.