How do I call one child privately so others do not hijack the moment? 

Parenting Perspective 

Every parent knows the challenge: you want to speak quietly to one child, perhaps to offer guidance or to check in with them emotionally, but before you can finish a sentence, their siblings appear. They may listen in, interrupt, or inject their own opinions, and what should have been a moment of gentle connection can become a noisy spectacle. This is not always defiance; it is often a sign of curiosity, competition, or an anxiety about fairness. The key is to balance the need for privacy with a sense of reassurance, so that one child feels seen while the others do not feel excluded. 

Establish Privacy as a Normal Practice 

It is important to teach children that some conversations are meant to be private, and that this privacy is not about secrecy or favouritism. You can explain this during a calm time by saying, ‘Sometimes I will talk to each of you alone, and sometimes we will all talk together. It does not mean anyone is in trouble; it just helps me to listen better.’ This helps to normalise one-to-one moments as a part of family life. The more predictable this becomes, the less likely other children will be to interrupt out of fear or curiosity. 

Create Clear Boundaries 

Choose your space and your moment intentionally. When you call one child, do so gently and quietly, not in a way that triggers the attention of others. A calm tone signals that privacy is a routine matter, not a punishment. If another child tries to join or listen in, you can acknowledge them kindly but firmly: ‘I will talk with you in just a few minutes. This time is for your sister.’ A consistent and gentle tone teaches a respect for personal boundaries. 

Balance Fairness and Focus 

Children are very sensitive to fairness. If you frequently speak in private with one child, the others may feel overlooked. You can balance your attention by occasionally initiating brief, individual check-ins with each of them. You might say, ‘I had a chat with your brother earlier. Now it is your turn to tell me how your day was.’ These small gestures build security and prevent jealousy from driving interruptions. 

Protect the Child You Are Speaking With 

When a child knows that others might interrupt, they may hesitate to open up. You can make their privacy feel safe by creating both a physical space and a sense of emotional reassurance. This builds trust and strengthens the parent-child bond, an invisible layer of security that will help your children to speak more freely in the future. 

Spiritual Insight 

In Islam, privacy and discretion are not merely good manners; they are expressions of adab, dignity, and mercy. A parent’s ability to handle private moments with justice and gentleness is a reflection of a prophetic balance: protecting a child’s honour while nurturing their understanding. 

Guarding Privacy and Dignity in the Quran 

The Quran reminds us that respecting another person’s privacy is what protects their heart from suspicion, jealousy, and hurt. Teaching children to honour one another’s private conversations helps to prevent rivalry and builds mutual trust. 

Allah Almighty states in the noble Quran at Surah Al Hujuraat (49), Verse 12: 

‘Those of you who have believed, abstain as much as you can from cynical thinking (about one another); as some of that cynical thinking is a sin; and do not spy (on each other) and do not let some of you backbite against others…’ 

When a parent speaks privately to one child, the others learn that privacy is a part of an Islamic character, a way of safeguarding dignity rather than excluding others. 

The Prophetic Example of Discretion and Trust 

The Prophet Muhammad ﷺ taught that even a subtle sign of privacy carries the weight of amanah, or trust. When you respect your child’s confidentiality, you are embodying this prophetic example. 

It is recorded in Jami Tirmidhi, Hadith 1959, that the holy Prophet Muhammad ﷺ said: 

‘When a man speaks to another and then looks around, it is a trust.’ 

This teaches that trustworthiness is not just about keeping secrets, but about honouring the spaces where words are shared with sincerity. 

Managing privacy between siblings is not about exclusion, but about education. It is a way of teaching children that love can be personal and still be fair. Each private conversation plants a seed of confidence, self-worth, and moral discretion. 

As you continue to create these quiet moments, you may notice that they reshape your family’s emotional rhythm. The child you call aside will begin to associate privacy with calm and safety, not with fear or guilt, and the others, through your consistency, will learn patience and respect. In this balance between attention and boundaries, your home can become a place of emotional order and spiritual refinement.