How do I avoid overcompensating with treats or extra screen time when I feel guilty? 

Parenting Perspective 

It is a common temptation for parents to try and soothe their own feelings of guilt—for being distracted or short-tempered with treats or extra screen time for their child. While the intention is loving, this kind of overcompensation can accidentally teach a child that emotional disconnects are repaired with material things, rather than with genuine connection. 

Address the Emotional Need Directly 

Instead of reaching for a distraction like a treat, try to give your child the one thing they truly need: your full presence. Sit with them, talk about their day, or join them in an activity they enjoy. This directly satisfies the underlying need for emotional reconnection, rather than simply papering over it. 

Be Honest About Your Feelings 

Use simple, honest words to repair the moment. An apology like, ‘I am sorry I was a bit distracted earlier; I would love to spend some proper time with you now’, sends a much more powerful and loving message than offering them a tablet or a sweet. 

Create a Healthy Repair Habit 

Try to build a new habit for yourself. Whenever you feel a pang of guilt, let it be your cue to repair the relationship with attention, affection, and conversation, not with indulgences. Over time, this teaches your child that true closeness is built on the quality of your relationship, not on what they receive. 

By replacing guilt-driven treats with intentional reconnection, you reinforce a vital lesson: that their value in your eyes comes from who they are, not from what they are given. 

Spiritual Insight 

Islam teaches that mending relationships should be rooted in sincerity and mercy, not in transactional exchanges. The gift of genuine presence is always more valuable than a material offering. 

Allah Almighty states in the noble Quran at Surah Al Hujuraat (49), Verse 10: 

‘Indeed, the believers are brothers (to each other); so, make peace with your brothers; and seek piety from Allah (Almighty) so that you may receive His Mercy…‘ 

This verse reminds us that making things right in our relationships is a moral and spiritual duty. This act of reconciliation should always be approached with sincerity, aiming to restore the bond rather than just quieten a guilty conscience. 

It is recorded in Sahih Bukhari, Hadith 6446, that the holy Prophet Muhammad ﷺ said: 

‘Wealth is not in having many possessions. Rather, true wealth is self-contentment.’ 

This profound Hadith teaches us to look beyond material measures of value. True wealth is contentment of the soul. In parenting, this reminds us that the gifts of emotional fulfilment and genuine care are far more precious than any physical treat. 

By choosing connection over compensation, you model to your child that love is best expressed through presence, mercy, and understanding. These are the values that will shape how they learn to repair and nurture all the important relationships in their own lives.