How do I answer my child when they ask why they are different? 

Parenting Perspective 

Acknowledge Their Feelings 

One day, your child may look at you with tearful eyes or a quiet voice and ask, ‘Why am I different?’ This question can break a parent’s heart, but it is also a precious opportunity to plant seeds of self-worth, acceptance, and hope. Start by listening without brushing their feelings aside. Avoid saying, ‘You are not different,’ if that is how they feel. Instead, acknowledge their emotion: ‘I know it feels like you do things differently sometimes. It is okay to feel sad about that.’ 

Explain that Everyone is Different 

Use gentle, truthful words suited to your child’s age: ‘Allah Almighty makes everyone different. Some people learn quickly; others need more time. Some people run fast; others love sitting quietly. Your way is not wrong; it is just yours.’ 

Balance Honesty with Reassurance 

Balance honesty with reassurance by talking about what makes your child special: ‘You see things other people miss. You make us laugh. You care so much about animals. These are beautiful parts of you.’ Give examples of people they admire who have their own differences too. Help them see that differences are not mistakes but are part of Allah Almighty’s plan. Share real-life stories or children’s books that celebrate unique needs and abilities. 

Reinforce that ‘Different’ is Not ‘Alone’ 

Keep these conversations open; one talk is never enough. Let your child know they can always ask questions without shame. Most importantly, remind them that being different does not mean being alone. Show them all the ways they belong—in your family, in your heart, and in your Duas every day. 

Spiritual Insight 

Islam teaches us that every creation is made with purpose and care. Allah Almighty states in the noble Quran at Surah Ash-Shura (42), Verse 49: 

‘To Allah belongs the dominion of the heavens and the earth. He creates what He wills…‘

This Ayah reminds us that our differences are not random; they are part of His perfect design. 

The holy Prophet Muhammad ﷺ always treated people’s differences with compassion. He ﷺ never made people feel inferior because of what set them apart. It is recorded in Sahih Muslim, Hadith 1828, that the holy Prophet Muhammad ﷺ stated: 

‘Allah is not kind to him who is not kind to people. ‘

Teach your child that being kind to themselves, and proud of who they are, is part of living this mercy. 

Make a gentle Dua together: ‘O Allah Almighty, help me love who I am and trust that You made me with wisdom.’ 

With your warm words, patient listening, and faith-filled reminders, your child will learn that ‘different’ does not mean ‘less’. In fact, it may be the exact way Allah Almighty chose for them to shine.