How can we write down rules so they feel like a shared contract, not a list of demands? 

Parenting Perspective 

The way rules are presented can make the difference between cooperation and conflict. Turning your screen time limits into a written, shared agreement can transform the dynamic from a parent-child struggle to a family team effort. 

Create the Rules Together 

Rather than drafting the rules on your own, sit down with your child and ask for their input. Involving them in the discussion gives them a sense of ownership and dramatically reduces the feeling that rules are being imposed upon them. 

Use Positive and Clear Language 

Write the agreement using positive language that focuses on what you will do, not just what you will not. For example, instead of ‘No screens after 8 p.m.,’ you could write, ‘Our family quiet time begins at 8 p.m.’ This makes the agreement feel like a shared vision for your home. 

Include Signatures and Display It Publicly 

Once you have agreed on the rules, write them down and have everyone in the family sign the paper. Displaying this ‘family contract’ somewhere visible, like on the fridge, serves as a reminder of your mutual commitment. 

This simple act of writing it down together can transform a list of demands into a pact of mutual respect. 

Spiritual Insight 

Islam encourages the practice of creating agreements built on fairness and mutual consultation (shura), especially within family life. This approach builds trust and unity. 

Allah Almighty states in the noble Quran at Surah Al Mumtahanah (60), Verse 12: 

‘And not disobey you in what is right – then accept their pledge and ask forgiveness for them of Allah…’ 

This reflects the beautiful concept of making agreements based on mutual understanding and a shared commitment to what is right and beneficial. 

It is recorded in Al Adab Al Mufrad, Hadith 488, that the holy Prophet Muhammad ﷺ said: 

‘The Muslims are bound by their conditions, except for a condition that makes the lawful unlawful, or the unlawful lawful.’ 

By creating a shared ‘family contract’, you are modelling the profound Islamic value of honouring commitments that are made with mutual respect and are carried out in good faith.