How can we start a daily “say something kind” ritual that sticks? 

Parenting Perspective 

Many families want to cultivate more kindness at home but are unsure how to make it a practical habit. A simple, one-minute ritual where each person says something kind can build a family rhythm that gently encourages respectful and positive speech. The main challenge is not in starting the practice, but in keeping it simple, joyful, and consistent enough to become a natural part of your family culture. 

Anchor the Ritual to an Existing Routine 

New habits are more likely to last when they are linked to established daily moments. Choose a predictable time, such as just before bed, at the dinner table, or during the school run. Introduce the idea with enthusiasm: ‘Every evening before bed, we are going to start a new tradition where we each say one kind thing to someone in the family.’ Anchoring the ritual to a set time prevents it from being forgotten. 

Keep it Brief and Positive 

Limit the ritual to one sentence per person. Lengthy speeches can feel like a chore, whereas short and simple lines are manageable. Let your children know that a single kind comment is more than enough, for example, ‘Thank you for helping me with my homework,’ or ‘I liked when you played with me today.’ 

Model the Behaviour First 

As a parent, it is best to model the behaviour first. For example, you could start by saying, ‘I want to thank you for sharing your toy with your sister today.’ Then, invite your child to participate: ‘Now it is your turn. What is one kind thing you would like to say?’ Children learn the tone and form of kindness by hearing it from you first. 

Offer Gentle Prompts 

Some children may feel pressured or unsure when asked to say something kind on the spot. It helps to have a few gentle prompts ready to guide them. 

• ‘Can you think of something you appreciated today?’ 

• ‘Did you notice someone do something helpful?’ 

• ‘Is there something you feel grateful for?’ 

Parent: ‘Today, I appreciated how you cleared your plate after dinner. What about you?’ 

Child: ‘I liked how you tucked me in.’ 

Parent: ‘That is beautiful. Our kindness minute is complete.’ 

Focus on Effort, Not Performance 

Do not correct or try to improve your child’s words. If they mumble or repeat the same line for a week, that is perfectly fine. The goal is practice, not performance. Praise their effort by saying, ‘Thank you for sharing. That was very kind.’ Over time, their confidence will grow. 

Introduce Variety to Keep it Fresh 

Once the ritual feels well-established, you can add a small twist once a week to prevent it from becoming stale. 

• Say something kind about yourself (‘I am proud that I finished my reading homework’). 

• Say something kind about someone outside the home (‘My friend was very funny today’). 

• Write the kind words on a sticky note and post it on the fridge. 

Protect the Ritual from Negative Associations 

If the family mood is tense, it is better to pause and reset. Never use the kindness ritual as a tool for correcting behaviour, for instance, by saying, ‘You need to say something nice about your brother because you fought with him earlier.’ It is important to keep the ritual free from lectures so that your children trust it as a safe and warm moment of connection. 

Spiritual Insight 

Islam honours good speech as a fundamental act of worship. Building a daily family ritual of kind words is a practical way of training children to live by the principles of the Quran and Sunnah in their daily lives. 

The Quranic Command for Gentle Speech 

Allah Almighty states in the noble Quran at Surah Al Israa (17), Verse 53: 

‘And inform My servants that they should speak in only the politest manner (when they speak to the extremists in disbelief); indeed, Satan is (always ready for) infusing anarchy between them, as indeed, Satan is the most visible enemy for mankind.’ 

This verse reminds us that the quality of our words directly influences the atmosphere of our homes. Encouraging children to say one kind thing each day helps them practise the divine command to ‘say that which is best,’ thereby protecting the family from unnecessary discord. 

The Prophetic View of Good Words as Charity 

It is recorded in Sahih Muslim, Hadith 1009, that the holy Prophet Muhammad ﷺ said: 

‘A good word is charity.’ 

This powerful hadith teaches that even the smallest kind word carries immense weight in the sight of Allah Almighty. By teaching children to practise daily kindness with their words, you are helping them transform ordinary sentences into a continuous act of charity (sadaqah). This simple ritual trains them to see speech as an act of faith, knowing that every gentle phrase carries a reward.