Parenting Perspective 

When a rule is broken, parents can feel a pressure to prove to their child that they are ‘on the same team.’ This sometimes results in both parents raising their voices, which undermines true unity and teaches children that conflict, not calmness, is the way to resolve issues. Family unity is best modelled through consistency, quiet strength, and private communication between parents. 

Present a Calm, United Front 

If your child breaks a rule, respond with steady and united words, such as, ‘We have all agreed on this rule, and it still stands.’ It is important to avoid turning the moment into a loud, anxious exchange between the parents in front of the child. A consistent and calm tone shows your child that parental unity does not require a loud volume to be effective. 

Resolve Disagreements Privately 

If you and your partner have different ideas about how a rule was handled, it is crucial to discuss it later in private. Correcting each other or debating the rule in front of your child can invite them to pick sides and weaken your collective authority. When parents speak respectfully to each other behind the scenes, children feel more secure. 

Show Unity Through Actions 

Small, consistent actions are often more powerful than words. When both parents follow the family’s screen-time limits, or both calmly say ‘no’ to sweets before dinner, they are proving their unity through their behaviour. Children quickly learn that shouting is unnecessary when their parents enforce the same boundaries together with quiet confidence. 

Spiritual Insight 

Islam places a great emphasis on mercy, patience, and justice within family life. Parents are called to guide their children with a calm sense of dignity, not harshness, and to protect the home as a place of harmony and peace. 

The Foundation of Affection and Mercy 

The Quran reminds us that the family unit is designed to be a source of tranquillity, built upon a foundation of mutual affection and mercy, not conflict. 

Allah Almighty states in the noble Quran at Surah Al Rome (30), Verses 21: 

‘ And amongst His Signs (of the infinite truth) are that He (Allah Almighty) created for you, your (matrimonial) partners from your species so that you may find tranquillity from them; and designed between you love, tolerance and kindness…‘ 

The Power of Gentleness 

The prophetic tradition teaches that a gentle approach brings more lasting and blessed results than anger or shouting, especially within the home. 

It is recorded in Sunan Abu Dawood, Hadith 4807, that the holy Prophet Muhammad ﷺ said: 

‘Indeed Allah is gentle and loves gentleness. He gives for gentleness what He does not give for harshness or for anything else.’ 

By modelling family unity through calm words and consistent actions, you are embodying these core Islamic values. Your child learns that rules are not enforced by noise, but by fairness, cooperation, and love, which creates a home that feels both secure and merciful.